Ok... I know that at first glance this may seem like a controversial topic to be discussing at all... especially in March, but I promise that it's not. You see, most of the known world is on Facebook and in December 2009 I was invited to join a group with the above title. I'm not generally a "joiner", so I went to have a look to see what it was all about and discovered that a concerned (and growing) group of individuals had started the group to keep Christ in the Festive Season. I couldn't agree more, so I joined.
Fast forward to December 2010 and a friend of mine posted a status on Facebook that asked what the big deal is... after all, Happy Holidays was the same as Merry Christmas... right? Wrong. There is actually a big difference although I agree that the general sentiment can be considered the same. When I stated as much in a comment, my friend indicated that in the USA it has become "Happy Holidays" so as not to insult other religious groups. It got me thinking. Are these other religious groups worried about offending Christians? Why is it that in a Christian country (the USA), there is so much concern about insulting other religious groups and yet, in my own country (South Africa) also a Christian nation, we don't feel the same need to change our traditions?
I've discussed this with people over the past few months and there have been a few suggestions as to why this is. The main theory that emerged over drinks one balmy afternoon was that the USA has become somewhat renowned for removing Christ from just about everything over the past decade. We've all had countless emails from friends and family over the years lamenting the fact that any reference to Christianity and God are being systematically removed from institutions like court houses and government offices. Worst of all... from schools. The theory being that immigrants with other religious beliefs may be offended. Well - I'm about to say something that may well offend a lot of people, but I hope that you will continue to read and that by the time you've read to the end of this blog, you will understand that it's NOT intended to offend anyone. If you were to move to a Muslim or Jewish or Buddist or Hindu country - or even just to a predominantly Amish area - THEY would NOT change their country, their religious beliefs or their laws to make YOU feel better or less offended. Nor would you expect them to... in fact - chances are, you'd respect their right to have their own beliefs... So why are Americans falling over themselves to change the religious beliefs that they left Europe to be free to enjoy? If I move to a Muslim country, I can still be a Christian...
The answer to the question of why we - as South Africans - don't fall over ourselves to "mollycoddle" each other was surprising in its honesty and simplicity... You see... Here in South Africa, we have 9 Provinces and 11 Official Languages... Yes, you read that correctly, 11 official languages! It certainly holds us to our unofficial slogan of "Rainbow Nation". However, it's the statistics that they don't push in the media that are applicable here. You see, we are a Christian Nation. Christianity is the official religion and we swear on bibles and believe in God. However... we also openly and happily wish our friends on their religious holidays, eg Eid Mubarak or Happy Chanuka and in return, they wish us a Merry Christmas. You see, we're open to the fact that we all have our own beliefs and while we may not always agree on the details... we respect the differences that make up our country. We don't feel the need to try to be completely "neutral" in order to show that. I'm proud of the fact that we are a country with a veritable encyclopedia of religions and yet we aren't afraid to celebrate our individual beliefs openly!
So... I guess what I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't be afraid to uphold your own beliefs. As a Christian, you should be saying Merry Christmas. If your non-Christian friends are offended that you've used that phrase, then they are the people with a bias, the ones with an issue. After all, you're hardly likely to be wishing them a Merry Christmas, so how does it affect them? If you're a Muslim in a Christian country... you're just as entitled to celebrate your religion... That is the freedom that America has always stood for and the freedom that South Africa seems to have achieved with grace and aplomb.
Something to think about...!
Until next time...
Sunday, March 06, 2011
Sunday, August 15, 2010
It's For The Best...
You know... mankind is a curious microcosm, filled with so many contradictions and double standards, that if you were to really sit down and think about it, it would drive you mad. We have a curious habit of holding people to different standards and different levels, of making emotional decisions or logical ones, of lying to ourselves and to others; of condoning insensitivity towards people in the name of protecting other people's rights. We're a messy, complicated, unpleasant race. On the whole. What has got me ranting? What has made me feel so negative tonight? Well... there is one particular double standard that has me all worked up... Euthanasia!
You see, this is the situation... I have an ill relative with advanced Alzheimer's. I also have a beloved cat with a problem liver which could prove fatal. Now - most people (mostly those who are not animal people) would argue that these are two very VERY different situations, but I beg to differ. You see, when it comes to my beloved cat - for whom I will fight every step of the way - the chances are that there will come a point where my Vet will take me aside and gently suggest that the level of pain / discomfort / quality of life has reached a point where it is best to have her put to sleep. Now, when it comes to my much loved relative - who I would fight for every step of the way - there will never come a point where that same suggestion will be made. There will never be a moment where a kindly Dr will take us aside and tactfully suggest that the level of pain / discomfort / quality of life has reached a point where it would be best to "put her to sleep"... as it were.
Ok - so most of you would point out that there is a difference between animals and people, but everyone who has ever had a beloved pet that has had to be put down will know what it is that I mean when I say that the words "it's for the best" really are NO comfort at all. In fact, to be honest, I think that it is a horrific double standard to say that we are trying to help our animals "die with dignity" and doing what "is best for them", but we allow our sick, dying and aged people to linger long past a point where they have no bodily control, are brain dead and have no quality of life whatsoever. In fact, we condemn those who would "put them to sleep" because we consider that to be murder. Now - do NOT get me wrong here. I am not suggesting for one moment that we go around murdering people. I am simply commenting on the fact that we have this double standard.
I think that - in much the same way as we will try every last option at our disposal to save a relative, we should do everything in our power to fight for our animals. They cannot talk and they don't get to make any choices for themselves, but as their humans, shouldn't we try harder? Do more?
I don't want either of them to die. Ever. Unrealistic, but true. Knowing this, I also know that I will push my vet to try anything and everything that he can. I need to know that I have tried absolutely everything in my power to help. I need to know that this terrible decision, this heartbreaking choice that I may be forced to make, is a final option and not just the "easiest" one for everyone else. And when my relative dies - as needs age and circumstance means that they must - I need to know that everything was done for them too. I don't like change and I dislike death and I don't cope well with either of them.
So you'll have to forgive me for wanting to put them off for as long as possible.
Until next time...
You see, this is the situation... I have an ill relative with advanced Alzheimer's. I also have a beloved cat with a problem liver which could prove fatal. Now - most people (mostly those who are not animal people) would argue that these are two very VERY different situations, but I beg to differ. You see, when it comes to my beloved cat - for whom I will fight every step of the way - the chances are that there will come a point where my Vet will take me aside and gently suggest that the level of pain / discomfort / quality of life has reached a point where it is best to have her put to sleep. Now, when it comes to my much loved relative - who I would fight for every step of the way - there will never come a point where that same suggestion will be made. There will never be a moment where a kindly Dr will take us aside and tactfully suggest that the level of pain / discomfort / quality of life has reached a point where it would be best to "put her to sleep"... as it were.
Ok - so most of you would point out that there is a difference between animals and people, but everyone who has ever had a beloved pet that has had to be put down will know what it is that I mean when I say that the words "it's for the best" really are NO comfort at all. In fact, to be honest, I think that it is a horrific double standard to say that we are trying to help our animals "die with dignity" and doing what "is best for them", but we allow our sick, dying and aged people to linger long past a point where they have no bodily control, are brain dead and have no quality of life whatsoever. In fact, we condemn those who would "put them to sleep" because we consider that to be murder. Now - do NOT get me wrong here. I am not suggesting for one moment that we go around murdering people. I am simply commenting on the fact that we have this double standard.
I think that - in much the same way as we will try every last option at our disposal to save a relative, we should do everything in our power to fight for our animals. They cannot talk and they don't get to make any choices for themselves, but as their humans, shouldn't we try harder? Do more?
I don't want either of them to die. Ever. Unrealistic, but true. Knowing this, I also know that I will push my vet to try anything and everything that he can. I need to know that I have tried absolutely everything in my power to help. I need to know that this terrible decision, this heartbreaking choice that I may be forced to make, is a final option and not just the "easiest" one for everyone else. And when my relative dies - as needs age and circumstance means that they must - I need to know that everything was done for them too. I don't like change and I dislike death and I don't cope well with either of them.
So you'll have to forgive me for wanting to put them off for as long as possible.
Until next time...
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Portrayed as Equals?
Locally we have an advert for a certain insurance company which I will not name. Of course, if you live locally, you will soon be able to work out exactly which company I am referring to, but I will ask that you not say the name :-) After all, I have no desire to be sued. However, I don't have a comment about them specifically, but rather, I am going to use this advert as an example of a point I'd like to make.
The premise of this series of adverts is that the husband and wife in question do not insure with this company, but really should. In all the adverts, the husband is portrayed as somehow "less". He is physically small and looks timid. He cowers before his wife who is portrayed as a loud, large and aggressive woman. The actors are physically representative of their characters and the man is the embodiment of a doormat. The ultimate terrified "yes dear" guy. So what is my problem? Well, let us examine the imagery created by these commercials (both print and TV... possibly radio but I don't listen).
Most people chuckle at the adverts, but imagine for a moment that the roles were reversed. Imagine that the wife was portrayed as a thin, small, timid, scared woman. Now imagine her husband portrayed as a large, loud, aggressive man. Not so funny any more is it? You see, if the advert had been set up that way, it would remind us too clearly of the abusive nature of relationships and all the "anti-woman abuse" activists would be up in arms at the glorification of the abuse of women. There would be complaints on every level and the company and ad agency would have had to retract the ad probably within a day or two of it starting to air. After all, heaven forbid that we appear to be in favour of abusing women either verbally or physically or psychologically!
Still don't see what my issue is?? Well, what are we saying about the men in our lives? By portraying them as weak, terrified of us, verbally abused by their wives, what lessons are we teaching our youth? What message are we sending to our men? That we want them to be weak and sad? I certainly don't want a man like that. Why is no-one upset about this advert portraying abuse of men in a pseudo-positive light? Ok. So I admit that I may be barking up the wrong tree here, but I have fairly strong opinions. You see, I HATE the word "chairperson" or "the chair". It is the chairman. God is not a "she" or a "they" to placate your delicate sensibilities, he is a He. So why aren't we portraying men and women equally without issue? After all, if we cannot portray the abuse of women (quite rightly), why is the abuse of men considered funny?
I'm not trying to undo all the work of passionate women's libbers or anything, but I feel quite strongly that I don't need a word to be changed so that I can feel secure. I feel just as powerful as a man when I am chairman of a committee, in fact I feel somehow less empowered by being called "the chair". Women have come so far over the past century and more and yet we still feel threatened by the silliest things - we get wrapped up in these little things instead of celebrating the power we have. You cannot expect the world to bend it's entire will to yours just because you have boobs and then still expect a man to open all your doors and pull your chair out for you. It's a double standard. Like the ad.
Women have reached the top in so many fields - industry, military, arts, etc - and yet we still feel threatened by the emptiness of the names that things have. We insist on labels which are gender non-specific or feminine and what we fail to realise is that by doing this, we draw more attention to our differences rather than to our similarities.
It's a situation that makes me chuckle even as it frustrates and annoys me.
Until next time...
The premise of this series of adverts is that the husband and wife in question do not insure with this company, but really should. In all the adverts, the husband is portrayed as somehow "less". He is physically small and looks timid. He cowers before his wife who is portrayed as a loud, large and aggressive woman. The actors are physically representative of their characters and the man is the embodiment of a doormat. The ultimate terrified "yes dear" guy. So what is my problem? Well, let us examine the imagery created by these commercials (both print and TV... possibly radio but I don't listen).
Most people chuckle at the adverts, but imagine for a moment that the roles were reversed. Imagine that the wife was portrayed as a thin, small, timid, scared woman. Now imagine her husband portrayed as a large, loud, aggressive man. Not so funny any more is it? You see, if the advert had been set up that way, it would remind us too clearly of the abusive nature of relationships and all the "anti-woman abuse" activists would be up in arms at the glorification of the abuse of women. There would be complaints on every level and the company and ad agency would have had to retract the ad probably within a day or two of it starting to air. After all, heaven forbid that we appear to be in favour of abusing women either verbally or physically or psychologically!
Still don't see what my issue is?? Well, what are we saying about the men in our lives? By portraying them as weak, terrified of us, verbally abused by their wives, what lessons are we teaching our youth? What message are we sending to our men? That we want them to be weak and sad? I certainly don't want a man like that. Why is no-one upset about this advert portraying abuse of men in a pseudo-positive light? Ok. So I admit that I may be barking up the wrong tree here, but I have fairly strong opinions. You see, I HATE the word "chairperson" or "the chair". It is the chairman. God is not a "she" or a "they" to placate your delicate sensibilities, he is a He. So why aren't we portraying men and women equally without issue? After all, if we cannot portray the abuse of women (quite rightly), why is the abuse of men considered funny?
I'm not trying to undo all the work of passionate women's libbers or anything, but I feel quite strongly that I don't need a word to be changed so that I can feel secure. I feel just as powerful as a man when I am chairman of a committee, in fact I feel somehow less empowered by being called "the chair". Women have come so far over the past century and more and yet we still feel threatened by the silliest things - we get wrapped up in these little things instead of celebrating the power we have. You cannot expect the world to bend it's entire will to yours just because you have boobs and then still expect a man to open all your doors and pull your chair out for you. It's a double standard. Like the ad.
Women have reached the top in so many fields - industry, military, arts, etc - and yet we still feel threatened by the emptiness of the names that things have. We insist on labels which are gender non-specific or feminine and what we fail to realise is that by doing this, we draw more attention to our differences rather than to our similarities.
It's a situation that makes me chuckle even as it frustrates and annoys me.
Until next time...
Saturday, July 24, 2010
World at our Feet!
There's an interesting trend that I've noticed through my travels on Facebook... Almost all the people I went to school with now live around the world, with a small percentage still living local (like me) :-) I'm not sure if it's something new for our generation or if it's just more noticeable due to social media. You see, with our parents and grandparents, the chances were that when they left school or college or perhaps left a company where they worked, they would have lost touch with each other or at least, most of them would have. Some - close friends - would have stayed in touch through potentially ever decreasing quantities of letters and cards or perhaps not. Things are a little different with our generation... and it's changing things for the generations above us too!
Let us examine social media like Facebook and Twitter, even MySpace. They allow us to grab glimpses into the lives of people that we knew. Sometimes these glimpses are as brief as the flashes you'd get between passing train carriages, offering us an incomplete image of the person on the other side. Other times, people are too happy to park us outside their front window and share absolutely everything with us. Either way, we are able to search for names from our past and peep in on them at random. Perhaps we go along "adding" people to our Facebook friends list - often forgetting that there are people on there that we wouldn't want privy to our secrets and day-to-day lives. It also makes it glaringly apparent that many of our "friends" have (with apologies) "Boldly Gone Where Many Have Gone Before".
Some left when we were still at school, boldly carving out new lives for themselves after their parents whims have dragged them around the world. Others couldn't wait for that last Matric exam before they were throwing darts at a map. A few chose to Au pair or study briefly overseas, only to fall in love - with either a person or the country or simply the lifestyle. At any rate, seeing "UK", "Canada", "Switzerland", "Mexico", "Brazil", etc, etc as their "home cities" certainly brings home to those of us back here, that we're still here. The question is this... were we left behind or did we choose to stay?
I can only speak for myself... and I chose to stay. I love my friends, my home, my family and the environment in which I find myself. Don't get me wrong, I would be happy to live overseas, but I would never do it without my family around me. Do I feel as if I've missed out? No. I made a choice to live the life I live and although I loved the year I spent overseas (yes, I did it too... 6 months with family there too and 6 months alone), I am loving the experiences I've had in my own back yard. So, no, I don't feel as if I've missed out. Sometimes though, I wonder what it must be like to live their lives. Like getting to try on a character in a movie :-) But it never feels real. I live in Cape Town and I love this town. There isn't anything better than the diversity of being able to get from the beach to the farmlands in under an hour or disappear into the mountains for a healthy retreat. This city is a vacation destination of note, but far more than that, it's my home. The place where my blood moves at the right speed and the very dust motes in the air are familiar.
And if I ever feel as if I need to do something different? No problem, I can experience the world vicariously through the talented and wonderful eyes of my Facebook friends. It's something that older generations are embracing each day and although the world continues to shrink second by second, it's now totally at our feet!
Until next time...
Let us examine social media like Facebook and Twitter, even MySpace. They allow us to grab glimpses into the lives of people that we knew. Sometimes these glimpses are as brief as the flashes you'd get between passing train carriages, offering us an incomplete image of the person on the other side. Other times, people are too happy to park us outside their front window and share absolutely everything with us. Either way, we are able to search for names from our past and peep in on them at random. Perhaps we go along "adding" people to our Facebook friends list - often forgetting that there are people on there that we wouldn't want privy to our secrets and day-to-day lives. It also makes it glaringly apparent that many of our "friends" have (with apologies) "Boldly Gone Where Many Have Gone Before".
Some left when we were still at school, boldly carving out new lives for themselves after their parents whims have dragged them around the world. Others couldn't wait for that last Matric exam before they were throwing darts at a map. A few chose to Au pair or study briefly overseas, only to fall in love - with either a person or the country or simply the lifestyle. At any rate, seeing "UK", "Canada", "Switzerland", "Mexico", "Brazil", etc, etc as their "home cities" certainly brings home to those of us back here, that we're still here. The question is this... were we left behind or did we choose to stay?
I can only speak for myself... and I chose to stay. I love my friends, my home, my family and the environment in which I find myself. Don't get me wrong, I would be happy to live overseas, but I would never do it without my family around me. Do I feel as if I've missed out? No. I made a choice to live the life I live and although I loved the year I spent overseas (yes, I did it too... 6 months with family there too and 6 months alone), I am loving the experiences I've had in my own back yard. So, no, I don't feel as if I've missed out. Sometimes though, I wonder what it must be like to live their lives. Like getting to try on a character in a movie :-) But it never feels real. I live in Cape Town and I love this town. There isn't anything better than the diversity of being able to get from the beach to the farmlands in under an hour or disappear into the mountains for a healthy retreat. This city is a vacation destination of note, but far more than that, it's my home. The place where my blood moves at the right speed and the very dust motes in the air are familiar.
And if I ever feel as if I need to do something different? No problem, I can experience the world vicariously through the talented and wonderful eyes of my Facebook friends. It's something that older generations are embracing each day and although the world continues to shrink second by second, it's now totally at our feet!
Until next time...
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Wash, Rinse, Repeat if required...
Ok, so at first glance, this may seem like the simple instructions on the back of the shampoo bottle aaaaaaaaand... you'd be right. BUT, they are also a fairly simple instruction for life and dealing with some of what it throws at you. How? Well... I'll tell you.
You see, so many times, life throws obstacles in our way. They're designed to trip us up or throw us off course, but it doesn't need to be that way at all. It is always possible to find away to either go around it or survive it! Don't believe me? Well... suffice it to say that I've had my fair share of rough "road tests", but I'm still here. So... what do I recommend? Well, it would be nice if there was a general purpose "band aid" solution to all the problems life could throw at you, but there simply isn't. There are however ways that you can prepare for the unexpected.
Ok... there are your general problems. These would be things like not getting that dream job, gaining a few extra kilograms, or your best friend making a move on the guy you like (but didn't tell her about). These things can hurt you, sometimes even lay you flat, but I promise it's not going to kill you. What you need to do is allow yourself a short period of time to mourn, be pissed off, get mad, whatever you need to do. Then, take a bit of time to recover and - here's the pertinent part - GET OVER IT!! If necessary, repeat step 1 (mad, sad, etc) and then ... stop. See... Wash, Rinse, Repeat (if required).
You're wondering if this will work with the bigger stuff? Well - sure. Don't believe me? Ok. So what would be the "big stuff"? Boyfriend cheated on you with his ex? Best friend moved in on your recent ex and married him? Boss is a total bitch who emotionally destroyed you until you quit your job? People you trusted have cut you out of their lives and treated you like dirt? Would that about cover it? You guess? Well, if you're not sure... Ok, so we're agreed that this would be the big stuff. Is it going to hurt you? Well, sure. Probably badly, but let me tell you a little secret. It definitely won't kill you. How can I be so sure? Well, some of these "big things" that I listed are things that I've been through personally and I won't lie. They hurt. Badly. But I'm still here and I'm actually stronger than before. No kidding.
You see... the best way to prepare yourself for the unexpected is to be sure of what YOU expect from people and life and yourself and also what YOU would like people to remember about you. Sound complicated? Not really. I always refer to it as behaving like an adult instead of like a petulant, spoilt child. And that isn't really always that easy. Basically, how you choose to deal with something will dictate how your brain processes it and how your emotions will handle it. I'm not kidding. Someone cheating on you does not require you to scream and shout and throw things. That is something we see in the movies and that doesn't make it right. Are any of those reactions going to change what happened? No. I'm not suggesting that you not be mad, just that you handle things in a rational, grown up way. Telling the person how you feel in clear, succinct manner will be just as effective and ultimately.... it kinda makes the other person feel worse. They know they've hurt you, but when you're almost nice about it, it's worse!
At the end of the day, you can walk away from any of these situations having expressed yourself as strongly as is needed without losing the core of your self-respect! How does it help you? Well, by NOT losing your cool and freaking out, you actually entitle yourself to be "ok". To get over it a bit quicker and easier and you don't raise your blood pressure through the roof. You still need to go through the stages... Be angry, be totally p'd off, be sad, be heartbroken or simply broken and that stage will take as long as it will take. But then you need to "rinse" and move on! Months down the line, not only do you respect yourself, but chances are that the people around you will respect you too and they may even learn from you.
If this seems a bit complicated... Then there's a song for you that you can adapt to fit what you need... "I'm going to wash that (insert here) right out of my hair" :-).
Until next time...
You see, so many times, life throws obstacles in our way. They're designed to trip us up or throw us off course, but it doesn't need to be that way at all. It is always possible to find away to either go around it or survive it! Don't believe me? Well... suffice it to say that I've had my fair share of rough "road tests", but I'm still here. So... what do I recommend? Well, it would be nice if there was a general purpose "band aid" solution to all the problems life could throw at you, but there simply isn't. There are however ways that you can prepare for the unexpected.
Ok... there are your general problems. These would be things like not getting that dream job, gaining a few extra kilograms, or your best friend making a move on the guy you like (but didn't tell her about). These things can hurt you, sometimes even lay you flat, but I promise it's not going to kill you. What you need to do is allow yourself a short period of time to mourn, be pissed off, get mad, whatever you need to do. Then, take a bit of time to recover and - here's the pertinent part - GET OVER IT!! If necessary, repeat step 1 (mad, sad, etc) and then ... stop. See... Wash, Rinse, Repeat (if required).
You're wondering if this will work with the bigger stuff? Well - sure. Don't believe me? Ok. So what would be the "big stuff"? Boyfriend cheated on you with his ex? Best friend moved in on your recent ex and married him? Boss is a total bitch who emotionally destroyed you until you quit your job? People you trusted have cut you out of their lives and treated you like dirt? Would that about cover it? You guess? Well, if you're not sure... Ok, so we're agreed that this would be the big stuff. Is it going to hurt you? Well, sure. Probably badly, but let me tell you a little secret. It definitely won't kill you. How can I be so sure? Well, some of these "big things" that I listed are things that I've been through personally and I won't lie. They hurt. Badly. But I'm still here and I'm actually stronger than before. No kidding.
You see... the best way to prepare yourself for the unexpected is to be sure of what YOU expect from people and life and yourself and also what YOU would like people to remember about you. Sound complicated? Not really. I always refer to it as behaving like an adult instead of like a petulant, spoilt child. And that isn't really always that easy. Basically, how you choose to deal with something will dictate how your brain processes it and how your emotions will handle it. I'm not kidding. Someone cheating on you does not require you to scream and shout and throw things. That is something we see in the movies and that doesn't make it right. Are any of those reactions going to change what happened? No. I'm not suggesting that you not be mad, just that you handle things in a rational, grown up way. Telling the person how you feel in clear, succinct manner will be just as effective and ultimately.... it kinda makes the other person feel worse. They know they've hurt you, but when you're almost nice about it, it's worse!
At the end of the day, you can walk away from any of these situations having expressed yourself as strongly as is needed without losing the core of your self-respect! How does it help you? Well, by NOT losing your cool and freaking out, you actually entitle yourself to be "ok". To get over it a bit quicker and easier and you don't raise your blood pressure through the roof. You still need to go through the stages... Be angry, be totally p'd off, be sad, be heartbroken or simply broken and that stage will take as long as it will take. But then you need to "rinse" and move on! Months down the line, not only do you respect yourself, but chances are that the people around you will respect you too and they may even learn from you.
If this seems a bit complicated... Then there's a song for you that you can adapt to fit what you need... "I'm going to wash that (insert here) right out of my hair" :-).
Until next time...
Saturday, July 03, 2010
4th July 2010
Where flies the flag of freedom,
Turn your head and we’ll be there.
We’re the soldiers who stand between you
And a world that isn’t fair.
We stand here shoulder to shoulder,
Our arms we bear with pride.
We know this too we shall overcome,
For our brothers are by our side.
So as you celebrate your freedoms,
With your barbeques and good cheer.
We’re standing on the frontlines,
Just remember we’re still here.
And when at night you go to sleep,
Unafraid and safe in bed.
Remember it’s we who face the dark,
Who face the danger in your stead.
So each day let’s thank the soldiers,
And all other armed forces too.
They’re the ones to whom you owe it all,
They’ve secured it all for you.
©Jo Originals - July 2010
(any unauthorised use is a copyright infringement)
Turn your head and we’ll be there.
We’re the soldiers who stand between you
And a world that isn’t fair.
We stand here shoulder to shoulder,
Our arms we bear with pride.
We know this too we shall overcome,
For our brothers are by our side.
So as you celebrate your freedoms,
With your barbeques and good cheer.
We’re standing on the frontlines,
Just remember we’re still here.
And when at night you go to sleep,
Unafraid and safe in bed.
Remember it’s we who face the dark,
Who face the danger in your stead.
So each day let’s thank the soldiers,
And all other armed forces too.
They’re the ones to whom you owe it all,
They’ve secured it all for you.
©Jo Originals - July 2010
(any unauthorised use is a copyright infringement)
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
On Writers and Writing...
I'm about to make a confession...
I am a ... reader!
Anyone who has seen the walls of floor to ceiling books in my home will testify to the fact that this is hardly a surprising revelation. In fact, it has nearly come between me and men in my life. I simply could never have a lifetime relationship with someone who doesn't love to read. They don't need to be quite as "taken" with it as I am, but they certainly need to understand the compulsion that can send you into a bookshop on pay day only to emerge several hours later a little high on the fumes of "new book" smell, clutching your purchases (only the truly disciplined can come out with only one book) close to your chest as you hurry home (cursing traffic) and settle yourself comfortably on the sofa with a beverage and book. You emerge hours later from a world far more diverse than your own or perhaps just the same, but with Jimmy Choo's, Champagne breakfasts and an endless supply of glitz and glamour.
I don't know where my passion for books began. I suspect it started with well-read bedtime stories lovingly presented to my young and impressionable mind by parents who both loved the escapism and education offered by the written word. There truly is no lesson you cannot learn, or any destination you cannot escape to with a book! Not all passionate readers are writers and not all writers are passionate readers, but I feel sure that you cannot have one without the other in some measure... At least... I can't. For me, they're intertwined too closely to be separated.
Words have magical powers all of their own and to be able to move people with your words, is a gift. From a love of reading, often comes a desire to write, to leave something "more" behind. The desire to be a writer and to move others with your words. Almost from the minute I learnt how to recognise letters, how letters arranged and re-arranged themselves into words and the puzzle of the partnerships between the words, the magic of the written word had me totally enthralled. I wrote many stories - more bad then good, I'm sure - and then I added poetry to my repertoire. I was only 9 or 10 so you can imagine that the subject material wasn't too complex, but I loved the sense of satisfaction in completion, of conveying an emotion or image to the reader - even if it was just my Mom :-)
As time passed, I kept writing, I couldn't help it. It was an addiction of sorts. A rush if you like. I was asked once, "Why do you write?" There is no simple answer. I'm sure for everyone it's different. For me, it's something that I can't avoid, even if I wanted to (which I most certainly don't!)... You see, the words are in my head waiting. They don't know if they're destined to be part of a poem, a short story, a blog or a letter, but they're always there, whispering seductively to my subconscious. I know this because words have almost always been there when I need them... I open my mind and let them flow and there they are. As if I planned them to be 'just so' the whole time.
People write for a multitude of reasons. We write to be read. We write because we have something to say. We write to make money. We write to incite, to inspire, to apologise, to mollify, to educate or to raise awareness. Sometimes, we write simply to escape. We write for a thousand reasons, but mostly - if we're honest - we write to be heard. To leave some small part of ourselves behind.
So... I'm working on the novel. Between 1 500 - 3 000 words in a session! I'm lead by the characters in my imagination, appearing almost fully formed in the swirling words that reside there. Words that swirl and form and then disappear, only to reappear in other sentences, in other paragraphs, breeding more and more words as we go. More than 30 000 words in, I have no idea where this journey will take me. It may take me on a grand adventure or end up simply being something I've accomplished in life. Either way, the answer to the question "why do you write?" is simple for me...
...I write because I'm a writer. It's who I am, not what I do.
Until next time...
I am a ... reader!
Anyone who has seen the walls of floor to ceiling books in my home will testify to the fact that this is hardly a surprising revelation. In fact, it has nearly come between me and men in my life. I simply could never have a lifetime relationship with someone who doesn't love to read. They don't need to be quite as "taken" with it as I am, but they certainly need to understand the compulsion that can send you into a bookshop on pay day only to emerge several hours later a little high on the fumes of "new book" smell, clutching your purchases (only the truly disciplined can come out with only one book) close to your chest as you hurry home (cursing traffic) and settle yourself comfortably on the sofa with a beverage and book. You emerge hours later from a world far more diverse than your own or perhaps just the same, but with Jimmy Choo's, Champagne breakfasts and an endless supply of glitz and glamour.
I don't know where my passion for books began. I suspect it started with well-read bedtime stories lovingly presented to my young and impressionable mind by parents who both loved the escapism and education offered by the written word. There truly is no lesson you cannot learn, or any destination you cannot escape to with a book! Not all passionate readers are writers and not all writers are passionate readers, but I feel sure that you cannot have one without the other in some measure... At least... I can't. For me, they're intertwined too closely to be separated.
Words have magical powers all of their own and to be able to move people with your words, is a gift. From a love of reading, often comes a desire to write, to leave something "more" behind. The desire to be a writer and to move others with your words. Almost from the minute I learnt how to recognise letters, how letters arranged and re-arranged themselves into words and the puzzle of the partnerships between the words, the magic of the written word had me totally enthralled. I wrote many stories - more bad then good, I'm sure - and then I added poetry to my repertoire. I was only 9 or 10 so you can imagine that the subject material wasn't too complex, but I loved the sense of satisfaction in completion, of conveying an emotion or image to the reader - even if it was just my Mom :-)
As time passed, I kept writing, I couldn't help it. It was an addiction of sorts. A rush if you like. I was asked once, "Why do you write?" There is no simple answer. I'm sure for everyone it's different. For me, it's something that I can't avoid, even if I wanted to (which I most certainly don't!)... You see, the words are in my head waiting. They don't know if they're destined to be part of a poem, a short story, a blog or a letter, but they're always there, whispering seductively to my subconscious. I know this because words have almost always been there when I need them... I open my mind and let them flow and there they are. As if I planned them to be 'just so' the whole time.
People write for a multitude of reasons. We write to be read. We write because we have something to say. We write to make money. We write to incite, to inspire, to apologise, to mollify, to educate or to raise awareness. Sometimes, we write simply to escape. We write for a thousand reasons, but mostly - if we're honest - we write to be heard. To leave some small part of ourselves behind.
So... I'm working on the novel. Between 1 500 - 3 000 words in a session! I'm lead by the characters in my imagination, appearing almost fully formed in the swirling words that reside there. Words that swirl and form and then disappear, only to reappear in other sentences, in other paragraphs, breeding more and more words as we go. More than 30 000 words in, I have no idea where this journey will take me. It may take me on a grand adventure or end up simply being something I've accomplished in life. Either way, the answer to the question "why do you write?" is simple for me...
...I write because I'm a writer. It's who I am, not what I do.
Until next time...
Monday, February 15, 2010
In Praise of Cupcakes
Well... it has to be said that cupcakes are easily one of the best party foods ever devised. In fact, I'd be prepared to say that they're one of the best "anytime" foods ever devised! Having now successfully passed over the speed wobble that is the "annual aging" day, I can take some time to share my love of cupcakes with you... my birthday cupcakes in particular!
Having postponed the actual birthday party thanks to an impromptu drought brought on by a burst pipe, I decided NOT to postpone the Lemon & Lime Cupcakes with Margarita Icing! Sound really yummy don't they? I have to say that I can't disagree... mostly 'cos I got to eat them! There are loads of recipes for this kind of cupcake online, but I have to say that I used my "own" recipe to a large degree and because I'm a generous soul... I promise I will share it with you all! I do not claim to have invented any of this, merely combined various recipes that I have used for the past 20 years or more!
I see you all looking for the recipe. Where are the ingredients? How do you do it? Well - you haven't lost the plot... I haven't posted it in this message. I'm going to be baking again in 2 weeks and I will post the recipes WITH PICS after that! I'm sure you can be patient just a little longer :-)
In the meantime... I hope that you all had a fabulous Valentine's Day and that the week ahead is looking great!
Until next time...
Having postponed the actual birthday party thanks to an impromptu drought brought on by a burst pipe, I decided NOT to postpone the Lemon & Lime Cupcakes with Margarita Icing! Sound really yummy don't they? I have to say that I can't disagree... mostly 'cos I got to eat them! There are loads of recipes for this kind of cupcake online, but I have to say that I used my "own" recipe to a large degree and because I'm a generous soul... I promise I will share it with you all! I do not claim to have invented any of this, merely combined various recipes that I have used for the past 20 years or more!
I see you all looking for the recipe. Where are the ingredients? How do you do it? Well - you haven't lost the plot... I haven't posted it in this message. I'm going to be baking again in 2 weeks and I will post the recipes WITH PICS after that! I'm sure you can be patient just a little longer :-)
In the meantime... I hope that you all had a fabulous Valentine's Day and that the week ahead is looking great!
Until next time...
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
Of Crime and Criminals
You know, I'm the first to admit that we have a lot of crime in SA. I'm only to happy to tell you that some cities are worse than others. What makes me mad though is when someone complains about the crime and them admits to committing a crime in the same breath!!!
A conversation took place recently on a social networking platform in which someone bemoaned the bad news that we're bombarded with by a specific television program. All we seem to hear about is corruption and crime and all the other "good" things this country has to offer. Several people agreed and offered the sage advice... don't watch it then. Up until this point it was all good.
Then someone commented that there is so much corruption in this country and that there needs to be some accountability... before blithely going on to state that they had recently had to pay a corrupt police officer a large amount of money as a bribe. They were outraged at the amount he'd asked for and eventually managed to get away with paying him a mere fraction of the requested amount.
A conversation took place recently on a social networking platform in which someone bemoaned the bad news that we're bombarded with by a specific television program. All we seem to hear about is corruption and crime and all the other "good" things this country has to offer. Several people agreed and offered the sage advice... don't watch it then. Up until this point it was all good.
Then someone commented that there is so much corruption in this country and that there needs to be some accountability... before blithely going on to state that they had recently had to pay a corrupt police officer a large amount of money as a bribe. They were outraged at the amount he'd asked for and eventually managed to get away with paying him a mere fraction of the requested amount.
I'm going to pause while you take that in.
Of course, if you're a logical, law-abiding citizen, the first question that you're going to ask yourself now is this:
If this person did nothing wrong then why would they be having to pay a bribe in the first place?
What law did they break to allow a corrupt policeman the opening to bribe them?
Why not report the policeman to a higher authority and simply take their punishment for their own crime?
The truth is that they would NOT have been bribed if they had done NOTHING wrong. If they were cornered by a corrupt officer threatening to make something up, they should have reported it. They did not. Instead, they congratulate themselves - publicly for successfully paying less!!!
This is someone who not only broke the law twice, but then bragged about it while trying to sound suitably hard done by and put out. They also enabled another criminal to continue with their own crimes and did nothing to stop it. This means that they are a HUGE part of the problem and NOT the solution in this country.
EVERY law should be obeyed and enforced, no matter how big or small. Jay-walking is against the law and should be punished. I know it may sound ridiculous, but how can you expect to win the war against thieves, thugs, murderers, extortionists and rapists if you allow people to break all the so-called "small" laws?
Until next time...
If this person did nothing wrong then why would they be having to pay a bribe in the first place?
What law did they break to allow a corrupt policeman the opening to bribe them?
Why not report the policeman to a higher authority and simply take their punishment for their own crime?
The truth is that they would NOT have been bribed if they had done NOTHING wrong. If they were cornered by a corrupt officer threatening to make something up, they should have reported it. They did not. Instead, they congratulate themselves - publicly for successfully paying less!!!
This is someone who not only broke the law twice, but then bragged about it while trying to sound suitably hard done by and put out. They also enabled another criminal to continue with their own crimes and did nothing to stop it. This means that they are a HUGE part of the problem and NOT the solution in this country.
EVERY law should be obeyed and enforced, no matter how big or small. Jay-walking is against the law and should be punished. I know it may sound ridiculous, but how can you expect to win the war against thieves, thugs, murderers, extortionists and rapists if you allow people to break all the so-called "small" laws?
Until next time...
Mexican Party Time
It's nearly time for that wonderful annual aging event... the birthday! This year, the them is Mexican. Odd, considering I live in South Africa and I absolutely loathe tequila (I'm sorry, it smells vile and tastes like I'd imaging boiled 6 week old socks would taste). Not so odd considering I really enjoy the idea of making your own food with wraps and ingredients. It's also a fantastic opportunity to experiment with something new... Margarita Cupcakes!
I'm not going to bore you with the recipe, purely because I'm using my own cupcake recipe and I'm going to play with the icing... if it works, I'll post it in a post-party blog... with pics! If you're in a hurry to know how to make them yourself, the blogosphere is full of fabulous recipes which inspired me to have a go.
The props for the evening have all been purchased, with the exception of limes, lemons and the food lol. I have a sombrero... flaming red and bought at a craft and packaging shop of all places! Some dried red chillies for decor (same shop), some mexican confetti (from a stationer) and some fabulous chilli print serviettes (craft place again). I also found some marvelous lime green candles and bought some orange ones just for fun!
Now all I need is the food ingredients, the drinks ingredients and the time to put it all together :-) Oh, may even purchase some tea light candles and have some great brown paper bags to dot around the place... Should be fun :-)
Until next time...
I'm not going to bore you with the recipe, purely because I'm using my own cupcake recipe and I'm going to play with the icing... if it works, I'll post it in a post-party blog... with pics! If you're in a hurry to know how to make them yourself, the blogosphere is full of fabulous recipes which inspired me to have a go.
The props for the evening have all been purchased, with the exception of limes, lemons and the food lol. I have a sombrero... flaming red and bought at a craft and packaging shop of all places! Some dried red chillies for decor (same shop), some mexican confetti (from a stationer) and some fabulous chilli print serviettes (craft place again). I also found some marvelous lime green candles and bought some orange ones just for fun!
Now all I need is the food ingredients, the drinks ingredients and the time to put it all together :-) Oh, may even purchase some tea light candles and have some great brown paper bags to dot around the place... Should be fun :-)
Until next time...
Sunday, February 07, 2010
Surviving Soccer in SA - World Cup 2010
I'm going to start off by admitting that I don't follow soccer / football. At all. I only recognise David Beckham due to a certain amount of ever exposure in the media :-) However, one thing I am very much aware of is the fact that so many visitors will be travelling to South Africa in support of their favourite team / player. I'm not going to lie and say that it's not a logistical nightmare on some level, but more troubling is the absolute riot of misconceptions that people have about our country.
So? Well, over the next few months - and possibly during the World Cup as well - I'm going to blog about what is going on around here... from my point of view!!
Some general information to begin with....
So? Well, over the next few months - and possibly during the World Cup as well - I'm going to blog about what is going on around here... from my point of view!!
Some general information to begin with....
- Yes, there is crime... No, it's not as bad as it's made out to be!
- There may well be problems with things such as vehicle hire, air travel etc. Prices may be high and it's important to book as early as possible to ensure that you don't hit a snag.
- There aren't always trains to everywhere you might want to go... For example, in Cape Town, the Stadium is some distance from the train station. However, there is a new bus service that will take you from a to b.
- Be sensible about your valuables. It's no different to being at home ... but we'll cover advice in a future blog.
Finally for today... a request. Please respect our wildlife and people and don't leave anything more behind you than a memory.
Until next time....
Friday, December 04, 2009
All A'Twitter
I'm a fan of Twitter. It's hard to explain why as such... it's not as versatile as Facebook or Myspace, but there is something almost voyeuristic about the glimpses we get into the lives of friends, family and ... of course... celebrities. Although it may be interesting to know that your best mate is nursing a hangover from the "party of the decade" or that your Uncle Bob is snoring over his beer in front of the Sunday Rugby game, there is something far more riveting in seeing the latest post from the multitude of celebrities that most of us follow.
The question we have to ask ourselves is "why"? Why do we follow these people that we've never met and are never likely to? Do we think that they look at their list of followers and wonder about us? Possibly... and possibly they do, but I think that the reason we love to follow them is because it allows us to see that they are as human and flawed as we are. That they find the same joy in the simple things that we do. They love their kids, pets, friends and family and they count "sleeps" until big events the same as us. It allows us to see beyond the hype and the 'celebrity' to the person who - when all is said and done - is just doing a job.
I admit that I enjoy the odd dose of tabloid magazines, newspapers, websites and TV shows and find them largely entertaining. Sometimes though, they make me really mad. Who are these journalists, and who are we as members of the public, to judge a celebrity for what they wear, don't wear, who they date, how they cope or how they raise their kids?? Not one single one of us would live up to the standards we set for them if our OWN lives were to be examined as closely and as regularly.
For example, when our own kids wear knee high boots, black clothes and make-up to a Halloween party at a young age, it's seen as "dressing up for fun", not bad parenting and advocating child porn. Our breakups are handled in private and are messy and tearful and usually full of yelling and hate and emotion, but heaven help a celebrity who doesn't manage to do things perfectly. We are soooo fallible, yet we hold others to some ideal that we cannot hope to accomplish given a hundred lifetimes.
I hear people say that celebrities need to be more responsible because they are role models. I hear people say that they have no rights to privacy because they "chose to be famous". I beg to differ. Celebrities didn't choose to be famous... they chose to follow a career in entertainment. This simply means that they were artistically inclined, be it drama, music, art, written word, sport, etc and made a career out of it. This is not the pursuit of fame (although for some, I acknowledge, fame is a big attraction), but rather the pursuit of excellence in a chosen field. That is no more the pursuit of fame than the teacher who strives to do her best or the fireman who wants to become firechief one day. Do we invade the teachers private life on a daily basis? The fireman? Do we report on their shopping habits, speculate on their lovelives or lack there of? No. We don't have the right and we shouldn't assume we have the right just because someone is widely well known.
As for making a celebrity a role model and judging them because of this.... I say STOP! As a parent, it is YOUR job to live a life that shows your children what is expected of you. YOU should be the one that they look to for guidance on how to live a good life and achieve greatness. If they aspire to be a great actress, sports star, author or singer, it should be because they want to achieve the best with the talents they have. It is OUR job as parents to ensure that they understand that the person on the poster, the person in the magazines, is a real person, with flaws. It is OUR job to steer them towards choices that don't involve public nudity, drug or alcohol abuse and it is OUR job to be role models.
If we took every criticism or expectation that we - as a society - level at celebrities and turned them against ourselves, I think we would find that none of us can live up to these standards. After all, we are all only human.
So thank you to Twitter for providing the window through which we can see that we're all just the same. That we share joys and sadness and that at the heart of every "image" is a person just trying to do the best they can.
Until next time...
Jo
The question we have to ask ourselves is "why"? Why do we follow these people that we've never met and are never likely to? Do we think that they look at their list of followers and wonder about us? Possibly... and possibly they do, but I think that the reason we love to follow them is because it allows us to see that they are as human and flawed as we are. That they find the same joy in the simple things that we do. They love their kids, pets, friends and family and they count "sleeps" until big events the same as us. It allows us to see beyond the hype and the 'celebrity' to the person who - when all is said and done - is just doing a job.
I admit that I enjoy the odd dose of tabloid magazines, newspapers, websites and TV shows and find them largely entertaining. Sometimes though, they make me really mad. Who are these journalists, and who are we as members of the public, to judge a celebrity for what they wear, don't wear, who they date, how they cope or how they raise their kids?? Not one single one of us would live up to the standards we set for them if our OWN lives were to be examined as closely and as regularly.
For example, when our own kids wear knee high boots, black clothes and make-up to a Halloween party at a young age, it's seen as "dressing up for fun", not bad parenting and advocating child porn. Our breakups are handled in private and are messy and tearful and usually full of yelling and hate and emotion, but heaven help a celebrity who doesn't manage to do things perfectly. We are soooo fallible, yet we hold others to some ideal that we cannot hope to accomplish given a hundred lifetimes.
I hear people say that celebrities need to be more responsible because they are role models. I hear people say that they have no rights to privacy because they "chose to be famous". I beg to differ. Celebrities didn't choose to be famous... they chose to follow a career in entertainment. This simply means that they were artistically inclined, be it drama, music, art, written word, sport, etc and made a career out of it. This is not the pursuit of fame (although for some, I acknowledge, fame is a big attraction), but rather the pursuit of excellence in a chosen field. That is no more the pursuit of fame than the teacher who strives to do her best or the fireman who wants to become firechief one day. Do we invade the teachers private life on a daily basis? The fireman? Do we report on their shopping habits, speculate on their lovelives or lack there of? No. We don't have the right and we shouldn't assume we have the right just because someone is widely well known.
As for making a celebrity a role model and judging them because of this.... I say STOP! As a parent, it is YOUR job to live a life that shows your children what is expected of you. YOU should be the one that they look to for guidance on how to live a good life and achieve greatness. If they aspire to be a great actress, sports star, author or singer, it should be because they want to achieve the best with the talents they have. It is OUR job as parents to ensure that they understand that the person on the poster, the person in the magazines, is a real person, with flaws. It is OUR job to steer them towards choices that don't involve public nudity, drug or alcohol abuse and it is OUR job to be role models.
If we took every criticism or expectation that we - as a society - level at celebrities and turned them against ourselves, I think we would find that none of us can live up to these standards. After all, we are all only human.
So thank you to Twitter for providing the window through which we can see that we're all just the same. That we share joys and sadness and that at the heart of every "image" is a person just trying to do the best they can.
Until next time...
Jo
Thursday, December 11, 2008
'Twas Two Weeks Before Christmas...
... and while I did blog,
Not a creature was stirring... 'cept for the dog.
He sat in the corner, in Grandpa's big chair,
Chewing most thoughtfully, shedding more hair.
He thought of the things that he wanted to say,
He thought of the games he'd love us to play.
He wondered where bones and treats could be stored,
Mostly he wondered why his human looked bored.
She sat at the desk and pushed buttons galore,
Often she banged things, sometimes she swore.
She didn't look happy and the day was so bright,
He wanted her smiling, it was such a good sight.
His tail he did wag as he heaved a great sigh,
Got down from the chair and me he passed by.
He stopped in the kitchen, to sniff at the cat.
The smell made him wonder - Why did I do that?
The food bowl lay empty, the scraps all consumed,
There'll be more tomorrow, he went on and assumed.
The door was propped open, the yard called his name,
But without his human, it just wasn't the same.
So he came back to find me, my arm he did nudge.
I levered myself up and behind him did trudge.
Out into the sunshine we both went that day,
"Come play", his brown eyes did pleadingly say.
I fetched out the ball and gave it a throw,
You know that he fetched it, brought it "just so".
We played all the day, while the PC lay silent,
My internet rage gone, my emotions not violent.
And later, in darkness, the words they did flow,
The length of my blog much better did grow.
The dog lay asleep and occasionally did snore,
While dreams lead to twitching of this or that paw.
So thank you to animals who always are there,
When humans are busy or tugging out hair.
You bring us such joy, it is hard to explain,
Without you my darlings, we'd not be the same.
Not a creature was stirring... 'cept for the dog.
He sat in the corner, in Grandpa's big chair,
Chewing most thoughtfully, shedding more hair.
He thought of the things that he wanted to say,
He thought of the games he'd love us to play.
He wondered where bones and treats could be stored,
Mostly he wondered why his human looked bored.
She sat at the desk and pushed buttons galore,
Often she banged things, sometimes she swore.
She didn't look happy and the day was so bright,
He wanted her smiling, it was such a good sight.
His tail he did wag as he heaved a great sigh,
Got down from the chair and me he passed by.
He stopped in the kitchen, to sniff at the cat.
The smell made him wonder - Why did I do that?
The food bowl lay empty, the scraps all consumed,
There'll be more tomorrow, he went on and assumed.
The door was propped open, the yard called his name,
But without his human, it just wasn't the same.
So he came back to find me, my arm he did nudge.
I levered myself up and behind him did trudge.
Out into the sunshine we both went that day,
"Come play", his brown eyes did pleadingly say.
I fetched out the ball and gave it a throw,
You know that he fetched it, brought it "just so".
We played all the day, while the PC lay silent,
My internet rage gone, my emotions not violent.
And later, in darkness, the words they did flow,
The length of my blog much better did grow.
The dog lay asleep and occasionally did snore,
While dreams lead to twitching of this or that paw.
So thank you to animals who always are there,
When humans are busy or tugging out hair.
You bring us such joy, it is hard to explain,
Without you my darlings, we'd not be the same.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Into the Light...
Over the past few weeks Death and I seem to have crossed paths or passed in the corridor a fair bit. I've only had one personal visit... My Ouma, but it seems as if Death is all anyone is talking about lately. It's been really interesting to see how everyone handles it in their own way.
For some, there's been a definite sense of despair, hopelessness. I've seen people face death with a sense of fear and resentment. They fear the unknown which it represents. Fear the fact that it's beyond all sense of control. Their resentment is for the time they believe is stolen. I've seen others face death head on. Seen them calm and content, ready to view the unknown as yet another challenge on the journey. Seeing death, not as the end, but as a new beginning. I've seen them rejoice for the time they've been afforded on earth, rejoice for the chances they've had.
It's really made me think. Someone told me the other day that you're born and then you die. That's all. I thought it was a sad statement to make. I pointed out to them that there is a whole lot of really amazing stuff that happens between those two events... and after a bit of thought, they were able to agree with me.
The tragedy is not in dying. The tragedy is in never having lived at all.
I don't mean literally never having lived... I mean that the tragedy would be to isolate yourself from the experiences out there in the world out of some misguided idea that we're somehow going to stop ourselves from getting hurt. Being isolated doesn't protect you at all. I know this because I've tried it. You still end up getting hurt, but you don't get to have all the fun inbetween.
I was in a very dark place lately, what with one thing and another, and as I started to find my way out, I realised another very important lesson...
Without the darkness, it is impossible to truly appreciate the light
It's a hard concept to master. Most of us would feel that our lives are better without the darkness. I used to think so too... but now I know differently. If our lives run too smoothly, we won't appreciate what we have. And believe me... it's sooo very much better when you can really appreciate it.
Until next time...
For some, there's been a definite sense of despair, hopelessness. I've seen people face death with a sense of fear and resentment. They fear the unknown which it represents. Fear the fact that it's beyond all sense of control. Their resentment is for the time they believe is stolen. I've seen others face death head on. Seen them calm and content, ready to view the unknown as yet another challenge on the journey. Seeing death, not as the end, but as a new beginning. I've seen them rejoice for the time they've been afforded on earth, rejoice for the chances they've had.
It's really made me think. Someone told me the other day that you're born and then you die. That's all. I thought it was a sad statement to make. I pointed out to them that there is a whole lot of really amazing stuff that happens between those two events... and after a bit of thought, they were able to agree with me.
The tragedy is not in dying. The tragedy is in never having lived at all.
I don't mean literally never having lived... I mean that the tragedy would be to isolate yourself from the experiences out there in the world out of some misguided idea that we're somehow going to stop ourselves from getting hurt. Being isolated doesn't protect you at all. I know this because I've tried it. You still end up getting hurt, but you don't get to have all the fun inbetween.
I was in a very dark place lately, what with one thing and another, and as I started to find my way out, I realised another very important lesson...
Without the darkness, it is impossible to truly appreciate the light
It's a hard concept to master. Most of us would feel that our lives are better without the darkness. I used to think so too... but now I know differently. If our lives run too smoothly, we won't appreciate what we have. And believe me... it's sooo very much better when you can really appreciate it.
Until next time...
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Destiny's at the Wheel...
... or is she?
Every now and then we all seem to hit these little speed bumps where we derail for a while and - depending on the severity of the derailment - it can take us a while to get back on track. It usually starts as something small, the sand that starts to trickle down the hill. The sand kicks loose a pebble or two and as they head down the hill, they in turn dislodge a rock and before you know it, you've got full blown landslide.
The avalanche on it's own isn't the problem. The problem is if you're caught unawares and find yourself standing at the foot of the hill! Stupid right? Right!
Of course, the trick is to get to a point where you can recognise the trickle of sand as a "sign". If you can do that, then you can move in plenty of time to avoid being squashed. However, very few people ever reach a point where they can recognise the sand as a bad thing... in fact, if you get that good at spotting it, the chances are you've been buried more times than you care to remember!
Ok - so we've established that very few of us can spot the early signs of approaching danger. Some of us are however able to spot the pebbles and rocks. It's still really hard though to step out of the way even when you can see it coming... especially if it's moving at the speed of sound :-). I've realised that sometimes you end up like a deer in the headlights... you can see the trouble coming, but you just can't seem to get out of the way.
The trick though is to carry a shovel with you at all times. The minute you get buried... start to dig. Don't stop, don't give up, and MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL!!! Don't dig the wrong way! No matter how severe the avalanche of woes, troubles, sadness, anger, hatred, pain, etc seems, there is always a way out and the quicker you start to work at it, the quicker you will find yourself back in the sunlight.
Then, you take a deep breath of fresh air and move forward. Keeping an ear to the ground for any loose sand... of course!
With much love and happiness at having dug my way free!
Until next time...
Every now and then we all seem to hit these little speed bumps where we derail for a while and - depending on the severity of the derailment - it can take us a while to get back on track. It usually starts as something small, the sand that starts to trickle down the hill. The sand kicks loose a pebble or two and as they head down the hill, they in turn dislodge a rock and before you know it, you've got full blown landslide.
The avalanche on it's own isn't the problem. The problem is if you're caught unawares and find yourself standing at the foot of the hill! Stupid right? Right!
Of course, the trick is to get to a point where you can recognise the trickle of sand as a "sign". If you can do that, then you can move in plenty of time to avoid being squashed. However, very few people ever reach a point where they can recognise the sand as a bad thing... in fact, if you get that good at spotting it, the chances are you've been buried more times than you care to remember!
Ok - so we've established that very few of us can spot the early signs of approaching danger. Some of us are however able to spot the pebbles and rocks. It's still really hard though to step out of the way even when you can see it coming... especially if it's moving at the speed of sound :-). I've realised that sometimes you end up like a deer in the headlights... you can see the trouble coming, but you just can't seem to get out of the way.
The trick though is to carry a shovel with you at all times. The minute you get buried... start to dig. Don't stop, don't give up, and MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL!!! Don't dig the wrong way! No matter how severe the avalanche of woes, troubles, sadness, anger, hatred, pain, etc seems, there is always a way out and the quicker you start to work at it, the quicker you will find yourself back in the sunlight.
Then, you take a deep breath of fresh air and move forward. Keeping an ear to the ground for any loose sand... of course!
With much love and happiness at having dug my way free!
Until next time...
Monday, October 06, 2008
Under a Dark Cloud...
... It's been a rather peculiar 10 days or so. At times I've felt a lot like a human emotional yo-yo. It's nothing totally unusual, but seems to have been very rough lately. It started with feeling very trapped in my life - don't worry, I can't explain it to myself either. Then, just when I was starting to see a light at the end of that tunnel, my Ouma died. It wasn't totally unexpected, but it was still really horrible. The funeral is tomorrow and I'm worried about my Dad. I know he'll cope, but it's still hard. I went straight back down that dark tunnel... I was also hurt by some people that I had least expected it from, but luckily I have some really great friends to help me out. The Older Brother kind of friends.
Anyway, it's not a great place to be in 'cos I can see the sun shining and I feel very much like one of those cartoons... standing under my own personal rain cloud. I'm hoping it will clear soon!
Until next time...
Anyway, it's not a great place to be in 'cos I can see the sun shining and I feel very much like one of those cartoons... standing under my own personal rain cloud. I'm hoping it will clear soon!
Until next time...
Monday, September 29, 2008
Empowered...
I'm writing this quite late at night, so my apologies if it's a little scatty...
There is something strangely empowering about turning 30. I have found that in the months since my birthday, I have become more content with my life, in fact, it is as if I have finally come to terms with many of the issues which faced me in my 20's.
I started this new decade single, but extremely happy. I am in the process of taking control of my health and fitness and have stopped blaming the world for things that make me unhappy. I have been blessed not only with a phenomenal family, who I love very dearly, but lately with some awesome friends who have shown me that I have not been wrong all these years in what I believe friendship should be.
There is something liberating in accepting all my flaws and realising that - after all the stress of the past decade or so - that in a strange way, I'm finally comfortable in my own skin. I've realised that I don't owe anyone anything and that if it's important to me, I don't care what other people think.
It helps to have 2 new "older brothers" pushing me out of my comfort zone, but at the end of the day, the biggest change is in me. In accepting myself - flaws and all - and in taking ownership of my own life and happiness. If only I'd known all of this 10 years ago!!
Until next time...
There is something strangely empowering about turning 30. I have found that in the months since my birthday, I have become more content with my life, in fact, it is as if I have finally come to terms with many of the issues which faced me in my 20's.
I started this new decade single, but extremely happy. I am in the process of taking control of my health and fitness and have stopped blaming the world for things that make me unhappy. I have been blessed not only with a phenomenal family, who I love very dearly, but lately with some awesome friends who have shown me that I have not been wrong all these years in what I believe friendship should be.
There is something liberating in accepting all my flaws and realising that - after all the stress of the past decade or so - that in a strange way, I'm finally comfortable in my own skin. I've realised that I don't owe anyone anything and that if it's important to me, I don't care what other people think.
It helps to have 2 new "older brothers" pushing me out of my comfort zone, but at the end of the day, the biggest change is in me. In accepting myself - flaws and all - and in taking ownership of my own life and happiness. If only I'd known all of this 10 years ago!!
Until next time...
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Friends in High Places...
We all have them. They're the friends with the "cool" jobs, the best contacts, the greatest perks. They are the friends that people wish they had. But why?
In my circle of friends I have published authors, illustrators, security system manufacturers, alcohol reps, strip club owners, helicopter pilots, weapons training instructors, stationery manufacturers, airline employees and many more. Each of these people has power to some degree, some have the power to provide glory by association, while others have the power to provide products that seem to please.
In my time, I have also BEEN the friend in high places. When I worked for an entertainment magazine, it was my access to free products from reps and VIP tickets to concerts which made me a group favourite and later, when I worked for a publisher, it was my 40% discount and free books which did the trick.
In those situations it is really hard to know who is your friend because of you or because of what "added value" you bring to the group. I have always taken it on faith that those people who were good friends when I worked at a craft market, probably weren't after my money :-)
Having been the "friend in high places", I understand just how important it is that the people in my circle of friends are in no doubt that I love THEM and not their jobs. I'm supportive, understanding, interested, but I never take advantage of them, nor allow them to feel at an time that they are expected to provide a product or service.
So, if you are the friend in high places, take the time to get to know the people in your life carefully. When new friends come into your life, DO NOT fall into the trap of sharing your perks with them straight off. Wait and see if they are more interested in that or you. If you are joining a group like mine, be upfront and honest with yourself and everyone else about your motives for wanting to be included.
I'm very protective of my group - in fact, we're protective of each other - and nothing ticks us off faster than a false friend.
Anyway, I guess that today's message is to take a good look at your friends and ensure that you're all in it for the same reasons and to value the PEOPLE in your life above all else.
Until next time...
In my circle of friends I have published authors, illustrators, security system manufacturers, alcohol reps, strip club owners, helicopter pilots, weapons training instructors, stationery manufacturers, airline employees and many more. Each of these people has power to some degree, some have the power to provide glory by association, while others have the power to provide products that seem to please.
In my time, I have also BEEN the friend in high places. When I worked for an entertainment magazine, it was my access to free products from reps and VIP tickets to concerts which made me a group favourite and later, when I worked for a publisher, it was my 40% discount and free books which did the trick.
In those situations it is really hard to know who is your friend because of you or because of what "added value" you bring to the group. I have always taken it on faith that those people who were good friends when I worked at a craft market, probably weren't after my money :-)
Having been the "friend in high places", I understand just how important it is that the people in my circle of friends are in no doubt that I love THEM and not their jobs. I'm supportive, understanding, interested, but I never take advantage of them, nor allow them to feel at an time that they are expected to provide a product or service.
So, if you are the friend in high places, take the time to get to know the people in your life carefully. When new friends come into your life, DO NOT fall into the trap of sharing your perks with them straight off. Wait and see if they are more interested in that or you. If you are joining a group like mine, be upfront and honest with yourself and everyone else about your motives for wanting to be included.
I'm very protective of my group - in fact, we're protective of each other - and nothing ticks us off faster than a false friend.
Anyway, I guess that today's message is to take a good look at your friends and ensure that you're all in it for the same reasons and to value the PEOPLE in your life above all else.
Until next time...
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Lions and Tigers and Bears...
... Oh My!!
I have the profound privilege of living in Cape Town, South Africa. It is a truly beautiful place to live and - having recently travelled around SA to Durban and Johannesburg - I can honestly say that it is the most spectacular city to live in!!
Of course, we're not immune to the problems which plague the majority of South Africans. The biggest of these problems is crime! Crime doesn't distinguish between black and white. It doesn't care if you're rich or poor. It pays no attention to your Religious beliefs. It pays scant attention to your age. It has a voracious appetite and moves through a community with all the subtlety of a bulldozer.
I myself have played unwilling host to Crime on 3 memorable and not so happy occassions. The first of these visits was in November last year when I awoke at 6 am to the fabulous news that my brother had trapped an intruder in our outside Granny Flat. Lovely!! This first visit was the most traumatic so far, firstly because this specimen of humanity, acting on behalf of Crime, was the only burglar that we have so far had the pleasure of meeting in person. Secondly, it was personally traumatic because he was going through MY stuff!
My reactions ran the full spectrum (especially over the antique jewellery which is gone for good) and I have to confess to feeling both terrified and strangely secure in my own home. However, life moves on and you soon discover that you need to find a way to move with it. And over a period of time, your sense of terror starts to diminish, you stop carrying your pepper spray all around the house with you and you start to find the positive in everything again. You also find that you are able to step back and realise that this wasn't personal... after all, Crime doesn't care who you are.
Then, just when you've finally decided to "get over it", you discover that Crime has a fantastic sense of humour!! Having made the statement to my father on a Sunday in March that I couldn't live in a constant state of fear, Crime popped round again on the Wednesday... just for a friendly visit. This time, it brazenly came in through the front window, breaking in through the burglar bars and - after doing some damage, trashing my room, stealing my clothes, the TV, DVD player, HiFi and kicking in my brothers door for R30 000 worth of computer - it broke out through the front security gate and sauntered off in broad daylight. Naturally, no-one saw or heard a thing.
This time, I was upset because for the second time my brother had been exposed to Crime and although he denies it, I know that it causes trauma. I was also worried about my pets as they were loose in the driveway. And then of course, I was upset about the loss of the property... I'll be honest, Crime had hit a bit harder this time because it had come into my home, into my space, into my very room! I'm not ashamed to admit that I slept fully clothed for a few days, with the lights on and the pepper spray in my hand. But you know what, it was just "stuff". My room was soon packed right and the fingerprint dust was easily washed off of everything. Again... the world turned and life returned to normal.
Of course, it would have been great if Crime and I had ended our association on this note. It was not to be. Crime may not care who you are, but when it likes you, it likes you. The world turned and soon it was September... You guessed it. My brother got home from work to discover that Crime had taken a second look at that front window. Crime gets a kind of perverse pleasure from trashing my room (and stealing my clothes... I suspect that Crime is a cross-dresser), but apart from that, it was only the new DVD player that went. We suspect that Crime was interupted as some stuff was packed but not taken. This time though, I wasn't even upset... I didn't shed a tear. I didn't rush straight home, in fact, I carried on tutoring and then went to Builders Warehouse to get a board to cover the broken window. I was incredibly angry though that it was my brother and not me that found it. I was angry that Crime got vindictive and broke some stuff. I was angry that I had to clean up again and deal with the police again. This time though, Crime had pushed too far and I raided my savings for new security fencing (amongst other things).
I also realised that Crime no longer had any power over me. The first break-in had left my hysterical and traumatised, a virtual prisoner of my own fear. Yes, I got over it, but that initial shock was huge. The second break-in was scary and upsetting, but it was then that I realised that it is just stuff. I know that will sound trite, but it's true. Of all the terrible things that could have happened, losing a few belongings (even pricesless or expensive ones) was really not that bad. By the third break-in, I was no longer scared, just mad.
I realised that Crime doesn't only steal our stuff from us. It likes to steal our lives from us too. If you allow yourself to stay scared, to live wrapped up in your fear, then Crime wins. Cancelling parties, not going out at night, never travelling alone, hiding behind your bars, all allow Crime to steal something from us that is far more precious than any "stuff" will ever be. Crime steals our lives from us if we allow it.
Mourn, be mad, be hurt, be scared, but then get over it. Take back your life. The only person who can make things feel "normal" again, is you. And if you don't care enough to do it, then you may as well lay down and die. Crime is a problem and it affects us all, but it doesn't have any more power than we allow it to have. Always remember that.
Until next time...
I have the profound privilege of living in Cape Town, South Africa. It is a truly beautiful place to live and - having recently travelled around SA to Durban and Johannesburg - I can honestly say that it is the most spectacular city to live in!!
Of course, we're not immune to the problems which plague the majority of South Africans. The biggest of these problems is crime! Crime doesn't distinguish between black and white. It doesn't care if you're rich or poor. It pays no attention to your Religious beliefs. It pays scant attention to your age. It has a voracious appetite and moves through a community with all the subtlety of a bulldozer.
I myself have played unwilling host to Crime on 3 memorable and not so happy occassions. The first of these visits was in November last year when I awoke at 6 am to the fabulous news that my brother had trapped an intruder in our outside Granny Flat. Lovely!! This first visit was the most traumatic so far, firstly because this specimen of humanity, acting on behalf of Crime, was the only burglar that we have so far had the pleasure of meeting in person. Secondly, it was personally traumatic because he was going through MY stuff!
My reactions ran the full spectrum (especially over the antique jewellery which is gone for good) and I have to confess to feeling both terrified and strangely secure in my own home. However, life moves on and you soon discover that you need to find a way to move with it. And over a period of time, your sense of terror starts to diminish, you stop carrying your pepper spray all around the house with you and you start to find the positive in everything again. You also find that you are able to step back and realise that this wasn't personal... after all, Crime doesn't care who you are.
Then, just when you've finally decided to "get over it", you discover that Crime has a fantastic sense of humour!! Having made the statement to my father on a Sunday in March that I couldn't live in a constant state of fear, Crime popped round again on the Wednesday... just for a friendly visit. This time, it brazenly came in through the front window, breaking in through the burglar bars and - after doing some damage, trashing my room, stealing my clothes, the TV, DVD player, HiFi and kicking in my brothers door for R30 000 worth of computer - it broke out through the front security gate and sauntered off in broad daylight. Naturally, no-one saw or heard a thing.
This time, I was upset because for the second time my brother had been exposed to Crime and although he denies it, I know that it causes trauma. I was also worried about my pets as they were loose in the driveway. And then of course, I was upset about the loss of the property... I'll be honest, Crime had hit a bit harder this time because it had come into my home, into my space, into my very room! I'm not ashamed to admit that I slept fully clothed for a few days, with the lights on and the pepper spray in my hand. But you know what, it was just "stuff". My room was soon packed right and the fingerprint dust was easily washed off of everything. Again... the world turned and life returned to normal.
Of course, it would have been great if Crime and I had ended our association on this note. It was not to be. Crime may not care who you are, but when it likes you, it likes you. The world turned and soon it was September... You guessed it. My brother got home from work to discover that Crime had taken a second look at that front window. Crime gets a kind of perverse pleasure from trashing my room (and stealing my clothes... I suspect that Crime is a cross-dresser), but apart from that, it was only the new DVD player that went. We suspect that Crime was interupted as some stuff was packed but not taken. This time though, I wasn't even upset... I didn't shed a tear. I didn't rush straight home, in fact, I carried on tutoring and then went to Builders Warehouse to get a board to cover the broken window. I was incredibly angry though that it was my brother and not me that found it. I was angry that Crime got vindictive and broke some stuff. I was angry that I had to clean up again and deal with the police again. This time though, Crime had pushed too far and I raided my savings for new security fencing (amongst other things).
I also realised that Crime no longer had any power over me. The first break-in had left my hysterical and traumatised, a virtual prisoner of my own fear. Yes, I got over it, but that initial shock was huge. The second break-in was scary and upsetting, but it was then that I realised that it is just stuff. I know that will sound trite, but it's true. Of all the terrible things that could have happened, losing a few belongings (even pricesless or expensive ones) was really not that bad. By the third break-in, I was no longer scared, just mad.
I realised that Crime doesn't only steal our stuff from us. It likes to steal our lives from us too. If you allow yourself to stay scared, to live wrapped up in your fear, then Crime wins. Cancelling parties, not going out at night, never travelling alone, hiding behind your bars, all allow Crime to steal something from us that is far more precious than any "stuff" will ever be. Crime steals our lives from us if we allow it.
Mourn, be mad, be hurt, be scared, but then get over it. Take back your life. The only person who can make things feel "normal" again, is you. And if you don't care enough to do it, then you may as well lay down and die. Crime is a problem and it affects us all, but it doesn't have any more power than we allow it to have. Always remember that.
Until next time...
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Welcome Back
It's been more than a year since I last blogged. To be honest, I think I lost interest in a lot of things and blogging fell by the roadside. Lately though, I've been re-discovering things that I thought were gone and also discovering some things that I never knew existed. I've also been overtaken by a desire to express myself again... and voila, back to blogging.
I recently had an eye-opening evening, which brought the rest of my life into a kind of focus. I started to evaluate my own priorities and to really examine my relationships. I have always believed that relationships, friendships or otherwise, are a seesaw. Smart people know that they're never 50/50, but rather give and take. The problem comes in though when you realise that the seesaw has become stuck - especially if it is skewed away from you.
I also realised that there are many people in our lives who are "users" rather than "givers". Which doesn't help if you happen to be a "giver". You find yourself pouring energy into those people - helping them, nurturing them, being there for them. It's rewarding in its own way, but does nothing for you if you don't get anything back.
It's important to realise that you need to put the majority of your energy into yourself. If your batteries are run down, you're no good to anyone. Apart from that, it's also important to make sure that you are investing your energy wisely, in relationships that are meaningful and in people who take the time to invest energy in you in return.
In life, there are no "do overs". You usually only get one shot and it's important to make it a good one. Even if you end up getting hurt, if you can look back and be content with how you have handled a situation or the kind of friend you have been, then the battle is half won. Surround yourself with people that you love, but who also nurture you in return. Be there for the people who need you, even if they can't always return the favour. And finally, listen to the advice, the criticism and the praise - no matter how surprising the source. You may find that it contains a valuable lesson. At the very least, it deserves to be heard.
Until next time...
I recently had an eye-opening evening, which brought the rest of my life into a kind of focus. I started to evaluate my own priorities and to really examine my relationships. I have always believed that relationships, friendships or otherwise, are a seesaw. Smart people know that they're never 50/50, but rather give and take. The problem comes in though when you realise that the seesaw has become stuck - especially if it is skewed away from you.
I also realised that there are many people in our lives who are "users" rather than "givers". Which doesn't help if you happen to be a "giver". You find yourself pouring energy into those people - helping them, nurturing them, being there for them. It's rewarding in its own way, but does nothing for you if you don't get anything back.
It's important to realise that you need to put the majority of your energy into yourself. If your batteries are run down, you're no good to anyone. Apart from that, it's also important to make sure that you are investing your energy wisely, in relationships that are meaningful and in people who take the time to invest energy in you in return.
In life, there are no "do overs". You usually only get one shot and it's important to make it a good one. Even if you end up getting hurt, if you can look back and be content with how you have handled a situation or the kind of friend you have been, then the battle is half won. Surround yourself with people that you love, but who also nurture you in return. Be there for the people who need you, even if they can't always return the favour. And finally, listen to the advice, the criticism and the praise - no matter how surprising the source. You may find that it contains a valuable lesson. At the very least, it deserves to be heard.
Until next time...
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