... Oh My!!
I have the profound privilege of living in Cape Town, South Africa. It is a truly beautiful place to live and - having recently travelled around SA to Durban and Johannesburg - I can honestly say that it is the most spectacular city to live in!!
Of course, we're not immune to the problems which plague the majority of South Africans. The biggest of these problems is crime! Crime doesn't distinguish between black and white. It doesn't care if you're rich or poor. It pays no attention to your Religious beliefs. It pays scant attention to your age. It has a voracious appetite and moves through a community with all the subtlety of a bulldozer.
I myself have played unwilling host to Crime on 3 memorable and not so happy occassions. The first of these visits was in November last year when I awoke at 6 am to the fabulous news that my brother had trapped an intruder in our outside Granny Flat. Lovely!! This first visit was the most traumatic so far, firstly because this specimen of humanity, acting on behalf of Crime, was the only burglar that we have so far had the pleasure of meeting in person. Secondly, it was personally traumatic because he was going through MY stuff!
My reactions ran the full spectrum (especially over the antique jewellery which is gone for good) and I have to confess to feeling both terrified and strangely secure in my own home. However, life moves on and you soon discover that you need to find a way to move with it. And over a period of time, your sense of terror starts to diminish, you stop carrying your pepper spray all around the house with you and you start to find the positive in everything again. You also find that you are able to step back and realise that this wasn't personal... after all, Crime doesn't care who you are.
Then, just when you've finally decided to "get over it", you discover that Crime has a fantastic sense of humour!! Having made the statement to my father on a Sunday in March that I couldn't live in a constant state of fear, Crime popped round again on the Wednesday... just for a friendly visit. This time, it brazenly came in through the front window, breaking in through the burglar bars and - after doing some damage, trashing my room, stealing my clothes, the TV, DVD player, HiFi and kicking in my brothers door for R30 000 worth of computer - it broke out through the front security gate and sauntered off in broad daylight. Naturally, no-one saw or heard a thing.
This time, I was upset because for the second time my brother had been exposed to Crime and although he denies it, I know that it causes trauma. I was also worried about my pets as they were loose in the driveway. And then of course, I was upset about the loss of the property... I'll be honest, Crime had hit a bit harder this time because it had come into my home, into my space, into my very room! I'm not ashamed to admit that I slept fully clothed for a few days, with the lights on and the pepper spray in my hand. But you know what, it was just "stuff". My room was soon packed right and the fingerprint dust was easily washed off of everything. Again... the world turned and life returned to normal.
Of course, it would have been great if Crime and I had ended our association on this note. It was not to be. Crime may not care who you are, but when it likes you, it likes you. The world turned and soon it was September... You guessed it. My brother got home from work to discover that Crime had taken a second look at that front window. Crime gets a kind of perverse pleasure from trashing my room (and stealing my clothes... I suspect that Crime is a cross-dresser), but apart from that, it was only the new DVD player that went. We suspect that Crime was interupted as some stuff was packed but not taken. This time though, I wasn't even upset... I didn't shed a tear. I didn't rush straight home, in fact, I carried on tutoring and then went to Builders Warehouse to get a board to cover the broken window. I was incredibly angry though that it was my brother and not me that found it. I was angry that Crime got vindictive and broke some stuff. I was angry that I had to clean up again and deal with the police again. This time though, Crime had pushed too far and I raided my savings for new security fencing (amongst other things).
I also realised that Crime no longer had any power over me. The first break-in had left my hysterical and traumatised, a virtual prisoner of my own fear. Yes, I got over it, but that initial shock was huge. The second break-in was scary and upsetting, but it was then that I realised that it is just stuff. I know that will sound trite, but it's true. Of all the terrible things that could have happened, losing a few belongings (even pricesless or expensive ones) was really not that bad. By the third break-in, I was no longer scared, just mad.
I realised that Crime doesn't only steal our stuff from us. It likes to steal our lives from us too. If you allow yourself to stay scared, to live wrapped up in your fear, then Crime wins. Cancelling parties, not going out at night, never travelling alone, hiding behind your bars, all allow Crime to steal something from us that is far more precious than any "stuff" will ever be. Crime steals our lives from us if we allow it.
Mourn, be mad, be hurt, be scared, but then get over it. Take back your life. The only person who can make things feel "normal" again, is you. And if you don't care enough to do it, then you may as well lay down and die. Crime is a problem and it affects us all, but it doesn't have any more power than we allow it to have. Always remember that.
Until next time...
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