Feeling sick always leaves me in a strange state of mind. In this case - contemplating all the lovely, interesting turns that my life has taken over the past few months. Wondering where the seams started to unravel, wondering if I could have stopped it all going horribly wrong if I'd just caught it early enough. Trying to convince myself that there's no point to wondering at all. You may as well wander off for all the good it'll do you.
Then there are all the songs that my sub-conscious mind is throwing at me. Sometimes it's the whole thing that applies and other times, just selected lines, but any which way, my mind is full of music. I almost wish I could say that it's driving me nuts, but in a strange way, it's helping me to sort it all out at a time when there is little help forthcoming.
Of course, something else that has been very helpful is this blog. It's a bit like having a personal diary - only difference is that you basically make it available for the world to see. It's extremely theraputic to be able to 'talk' and think things through out loud as it were, but something that I guess you have to bear in mind when you're writing is that you have readers (potentially). This means that even here, in your own space, you have to make choices. You have to chose if you're going to be honest to yourself, or edit your thoughts towards the people that may or may not be reading.
I think it's safe to say that this blog will exist in the same way as the rest of my life. I will be honest about what I think and feel and if you have any questions or issues, you should feel free to raise them...
Anyway - I think I hear my 'flu meds calling me from the comfort of my bed, so I'll see you all again soon.
Until then,
Me
PS - the title of today's post is a line from an Anne Murray song which has been on my mind.
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