I'm a fan of Twitter. It's hard to explain why as such... it's not as versatile as Facebook or Myspace, but there is something almost voyeuristic about the glimpses we get into the lives of friends, family and ... of course... celebrities. Although it may be interesting to know that your best mate is nursing a hangover from the "party of the decade" or that your Uncle Bob is snoring over his beer in front of the Sunday Rugby game, there is something far more riveting in seeing the latest post from the multitude of celebrities that most of us follow.
The question we have to ask ourselves is "why"? Why do we follow these people that we've never met and are never likely to? Do we think that they look at their list of followers and wonder about us? Possibly... and possibly they do, but I think that the reason we love to follow them is because it allows us to see that they are as human and flawed as we are. That they find the same joy in the simple things that we do. They love their kids, pets, friends and family and they count "sleeps" until big events the same as us. It allows us to see beyond the hype and the 'celebrity' to the person who - when all is said and done - is just doing a job.
I admit that I enjoy the odd dose of tabloid magazines, newspapers, websites and TV shows and find them largely entertaining. Sometimes though, they make me really mad. Who are these journalists, and who are we as members of the public, to judge a celebrity for what they wear, don't wear, who they date, how they cope or how they raise their kids?? Not one single one of us would live up to the standards we set for them if our OWN lives were to be examined as closely and as regularly.
For example, when our own kids wear knee high boots, black clothes and make-up to a Halloween party at a young age, it's seen as "dressing up for fun", not bad parenting and advocating child porn. Our breakups are handled in private and are messy and tearful and usually full of yelling and hate and emotion, but heaven help a celebrity who doesn't manage to do things perfectly. We are soooo fallible, yet we hold others to some ideal that we cannot hope to accomplish given a hundred lifetimes.
I hear people say that celebrities need to be more responsible because they are role models. I hear people say that they have no rights to privacy because they "chose to be famous". I beg to differ. Celebrities didn't choose to be famous... they chose to follow a career in entertainment. This simply means that they were artistically inclined, be it drama, music, art, written word, sport, etc and made a career out of it. This is not the pursuit of fame (although for some, I acknowledge, fame is a big attraction), but rather the pursuit of excellence in a chosen field. That is no more the pursuit of fame than the teacher who strives to do her best or the fireman who wants to become firechief one day. Do we invade the teachers private life on a daily basis? The fireman? Do we report on their shopping habits, speculate on their lovelives or lack there of? No. We don't have the right and we shouldn't assume we have the right just because someone is widely well known.
As for making a celebrity a role model and judging them because of this.... I say STOP! As a parent, it is YOUR job to live a life that shows your children what is expected of you. YOU should be the one that they look to for guidance on how to live a good life and achieve greatness. If they aspire to be a great actress, sports star, author or singer, it should be because they want to achieve the best with the talents they have. It is OUR job as parents to ensure that they understand that the person on the poster, the person in the magazines, is a real person, with flaws. It is OUR job to steer them towards choices that don't involve public nudity, drug or alcohol abuse and it is OUR job to be role models.
If we took every criticism or expectation that we - as a society - level at celebrities and turned them against ourselves, I think we would find that none of us can live up to these standards. After all, we are all only human.
So thank you to Twitter for providing the window through which we can see that we're all just the same. That we share joys and sadness and that at the heart of every "image" is a person just trying to do the best they can.
Until next time...
Jo
Friday, December 04, 2009
Thursday, December 11, 2008
'Twas Two Weeks Before Christmas...
... and while I did blog,
Not a creature was stirring... 'cept for the dog.
He sat in the corner, in Grandpa's big chair,
Chewing most thoughtfully, shedding more hair.
He thought of the things that he wanted to say,
He thought of the games he'd love us to play.
He wondered where bones and treats could be stored,
Mostly he wondered why his human looked bored.
She sat at the desk and pushed buttons galore,
Often she banged things, sometimes she swore.
She didn't look happy and the day was so bright,
He wanted her smiling, it was such a good sight.
His tail he did wag as he heaved a great sigh,
Got down from the chair and me he passed by.
He stopped in the kitchen, to sniff at the cat.
The smell made him wonder - Why did I do that?
The food bowl lay empty, the scraps all consumed,
There'll be more tomorrow, he went on and assumed.
The door was propped open, the yard called his name,
But without his human, it just wasn't the same.
So he came back to find me, my arm he did nudge.
I levered myself up and behind him did trudge.
Out into the sunshine we both went that day,
"Come play", his brown eyes did pleadingly say.
I fetched out the ball and gave it a throw,
You know that he fetched it, brought it "just so".
We played all the day, while the PC lay silent,
My internet rage gone, my emotions not violent.
And later, in darkness, the words they did flow,
The length of my blog much better did grow.
The dog lay asleep and occasionally did snore,
While dreams lead to twitching of this or that paw.
So thank you to animals who always are there,
When humans are busy or tugging out hair.
You bring us such joy, it is hard to explain,
Without you my darlings, we'd not be the same.
Not a creature was stirring... 'cept for the dog.
He sat in the corner, in Grandpa's big chair,
Chewing most thoughtfully, shedding more hair.
He thought of the things that he wanted to say,
He thought of the games he'd love us to play.
He wondered where bones and treats could be stored,
Mostly he wondered why his human looked bored.
She sat at the desk and pushed buttons galore,
Often she banged things, sometimes she swore.
She didn't look happy and the day was so bright,
He wanted her smiling, it was such a good sight.
His tail he did wag as he heaved a great sigh,
Got down from the chair and me he passed by.
He stopped in the kitchen, to sniff at the cat.
The smell made him wonder - Why did I do that?
The food bowl lay empty, the scraps all consumed,
There'll be more tomorrow, he went on and assumed.
The door was propped open, the yard called his name,
But without his human, it just wasn't the same.
So he came back to find me, my arm he did nudge.
I levered myself up and behind him did trudge.
Out into the sunshine we both went that day,
"Come play", his brown eyes did pleadingly say.
I fetched out the ball and gave it a throw,
You know that he fetched it, brought it "just so".
We played all the day, while the PC lay silent,
My internet rage gone, my emotions not violent.
And later, in darkness, the words they did flow,
The length of my blog much better did grow.
The dog lay asleep and occasionally did snore,
While dreams lead to twitching of this or that paw.
So thank you to animals who always are there,
When humans are busy or tugging out hair.
You bring us such joy, it is hard to explain,
Without you my darlings, we'd not be the same.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Into the Light...
Over the past few weeks Death and I seem to have crossed paths or passed in the corridor a fair bit. I've only had one personal visit... My Ouma, but it seems as if Death is all anyone is talking about lately. It's been really interesting to see how everyone handles it in their own way.
For some, there's been a definite sense of despair, hopelessness. I've seen people face death with a sense of fear and resentment. They fear the unknown which it represents. Fear the fact that it's beyond all sense of control. Their resentment is for the time they believe is stolen. I've seen others face death head on. Seen them calm and content, ready to view the unknown as yet another challenge on the journey. Seeing death, not as the end, but as a new beginning. I've seen them rejoice for the time they've been afforded on earth, rejoice for the chances they've had.
It's really made me think. Someone told me the other day that you're born and then you die. That's all. I thought it was a sad statement to make. I pointed out to them that there is a whole lot of really amazing stuff that happens between those two events... and after a bit of thought, they were able to agree with me.
The tragedy is not in dying. The tragedy is in never having lived at all.
I don't mean literally never having lived... I mean that the tragedy would be to isolate yourself from the experiences out there in the world out of some misguided idea that we're somehow going to stop ourselves from getting hurt. Being isolated doesn't protect you at all. I know this because I've tried it. You still end up getting hurt, but you don't get to have all the fun inbetween.
I was in a very dark place lately, what with one thing and another, and as I started to find my way out, I realised another very important lesson...
Without the darkness, it is impossible to truly appreciate the light
It's a hard concept to master. Most of us would feel that our lives are better without the darkness. I used to think so too... but now I know differently. If our lives run too smoothly, we won't appreciate what we have. And believe me... it's sooo very much better when you can really appreciate it.
Until next time...
For some, there's been a definite sense of despair, hopelessness. I've seen people face death with a sense of fear and resentment. They fear the unknown which it represents. Fear the fact that it's beyond all sense of control. Their resentment is for the time they believe is stolen. I've seen others face death head on. Seen them calm and content, ready to view the unknown as yet another challenge on the journey. Seeing death, not as the end, but as a new beginning. I've seen them rejoice for the time they've been afforded on earth, rejoice for the chances they've had.
It's really made me think. Someone told me the other day that you're born and then you die. That's all. I thought it was a sad statement to make. I pointed out to them that there is a whole lot of really amazing stuff that happens between those two events... and after a bit of thought, they were able to agree with me.
The tragedy is not in dying. The tragedy is in never having lived at all.
I don't mean literally never having lived... I mean that the tragedy would be to isolate yourself from the experiences out there in the world out of some misguided idea that we're somehow going to stop ourselves from getting hurt. Being isolated doesn't protect you at all. I know this because I've tried it. You still end up getting hurt, but you don't get to have all the fun inbetween.
I was in a very dark place lately, what with one thing and another, and as I started to find my way out, I realised another very important lesson...
Without the darkness, it is impossible to truly appreciate the light
It's a hard concept to master. Most of us would feel that our lives are better without the darkness. I used to think so too... but now I know differently. If our lives run too smoothly, we won't appreciate what we have. And believe me... it's sooo very much better when you can really appreciate it.
Until next time...
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Destiny's at the Wheel...
... or is she?
Every now and then we all seem to hit these little speed bumps where we derail for a while and - depending on the severity of the derailment - it can take us a while to get back on track. It usually starts as something small, the sand that starts to trickle down the hill. The sand kicks loose a pebble or two and as they head down the hill, they in turn dislodge a rock and before you know it, you've got full blown landslide.
The avalanche on it's own isn't the problem. The problem is if you're caught unawares and find yourself standing at the foot of the hill! Stupid right? Right!
Of course, the trick is to get to a point where you can recognise the trickle of sand as a "sign". If you can do that, then you can move in plenty of time to avoid being squashed. However, very few people ever reach a point where they can recognise the sand as a bad thing... in fact, if you get that good at spotting it, the chances are you've been buried more times than you care to remember!
Ok - so we've established that very few of us can spot the early signs of approaching danger. Some of us are however able to spot the pebbles and rocks. It's still really hard though to step out of the way even when you can see it coming... especially if it's moving at the speed of sound :-). I've realised that sometimes you end up like a deer in the headlights... you can see the trouble coming, but you just can't seem to get out of the way.
The trick though is to carry a shovel with you at all times. The minute you get buried... start to dig. Don't stop, don't give up, and MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL!!! Don't dig the wrong way! No matter how severe the avalanche of woes, troubles, sadness, anger, hatred, pain, etc seems, there is always a way out and the quicker you start to work at it, the quicker you will find yourself back in the sunlight.
Then, you take a deep breath of fresh air and move forward. Keeping an ear to the ground for any loose sand... of course!
With much love and happiness at having dug my way free!
Until next time...
Every now and then we all seem to hit these little speed bumps where we derail for a while and - depending on the severity of the derailment - it can take us a while to get back on track. It usually starts as something small, the sand that starts to trickle down the hill. The sand kicks loose a pebble or two and as they head down the hill, they in turn dislodge a rock and before you know it, you've got full blown landslide.
The avalanche on it's own isn't the problem. The problem is if you're caught unawares and find yourself standing at the foot of the hill! Stupid right? Right!
Of course, the trick is to get to a point where you can recognise the trickle of sand as a "sign". If you can do that, then you can move in plenty of time to avoid being squashed. However, very few people ever reach a point where they can recognise the sand as a bad thing... in fact, if you get that good at spotting it, the chances are you've been buried more times than you care to remember!
Ok - so we've established that very few of us can spot the early signs of approaching danger. Some of us are however able to spot the pebbles and rocks. It's still really hard though to step out of the way even when you can see it coming... especially if it's moving at the speed of sound :-). I've realised that sometimes you end up like a deer in the headlights... you can see the trouble coming, but you just can't seem to get out of the way.
The trick though is to carry a shovel with you at all times. The minute you get buried... start to dig. Don't stop, don't give up, and MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL!!! Don't dig the wrong way! No matter how severe the avalanche of woes, troubles, sadness, anger, hatred, pain, etc seems, there is always a way out and the quicker you start to work at it, the quicker you will find yourself back in the sunlight.
Then, you take a deep breath of fresh air and move forward. Keeping an ear to the ground for any loose sand... of course!
With much love and happiness at having dug my way free!
Until next time...
Monday, October 06, 2008
Under a Dark Cloud...
... It's been a rather peculiar 10 days or so. At times I've felt a lot like a human emotional yo-yo. It's nothing totally unusual, but seems to have been very rough lately. It started with feeling very trapped in my life - don't worry, I can't explain it to myself either. Then, just when I was starting to see a light at the end of that tunnel, my Ouma died. It wasn't totally unexpected, but it was still really horrible. The funeral is tomorrow and I'm worried about my Dad. I know he'll cope, but it's still hard. I went straight back down that dark tunnel... I was also hurt by some people that I had least expected it from, but luckily I have some really great friends to help me out. The Older Brother kind of friends.
Anyway, it's not a great place to be in 'cos I can see the sun shining and I feel very much like one of those cartoons... standing under my own personal rain cloud. I'm hoping it will clear soon!
Until next time...
Anyway, it's not a great place to be in 'cos I can see the sun shining and I feel very much like one of those cartoons... standing under my own personal rain cloud. I'm hoping it will clear soon!
Until next time...
Monday, September 29, 2008
Empowered...
I'm writing this quite late at night, so my apologies if it's a little scatty...
There is something strangely empowering about turning 30. I have found that in the months since my birthday, I have become more content with my life, in fact, it is as if I have finally come to terms with many of the issues which faced me in my 20's.
I started this new decade single, but extremely happy. I am in the process of taking control of my health and fitness and have stopped blaming the world for things that make me unhappy. I have been blessed not only with a phenomenal family, who I love very dearly, but lately with some awesome friends who have shown me that I have not been wrong all these years in what I believe friendship should be.
There is something liberating in accepting all my flaws and realising that - after all the stress of the past decade or so - that in a strange way, I'm finally comfortable in my own skin. I've realised that I don't owe anyone anything and that if it's important to me, I don't care what other people think.
It helps to have 2 new "older brothers" pushing me out of my comfort zone, but at the end of the day, the biggest change is in me. In accepting myself - flaws and all - and in taking ownership of my own life and happiness. If only I'd known all of this 10 years ago!!
Until next time...
There is something strangely empowering about turning 30. I have found that in the months since my birthday, I have become more content with my life, in fact, it is as if I have finally come to terms with many of the issues which faced me in my 20's.
I started this new decade single, but extremely happy. I am in the process of taking control of my health and fitness and have stopped blaming the world for things that make me unhappy. I have been blessed not only with a phenomenal family, who I love very dearly, but lately with some awesome friends who have shown me that I have not been wrong all these years in what I believe friendship should be.
There is something liberating in accepting all my flaws and realising that - after all the stress of the past decade or so - that in a strange way, I'm finally comfortable in my own skin. I've realised that I don't owe anyone anything and that if it's important to me, I don't care what other people think.
It helps to have 2 new "older brothers" pushing me out of my comfort zone, but at the end of the day, the biggest change is in me. In accepting myself - flaws and all - and in taking ownership of my own life and happiness. If only I'd known all of this 10 years ago!!
Until next time...
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Friends in High Places...
We all have them. They're the friends with the "cool" jobs, the best contacts, the greatest perks. They are the friends that people wish they had. But why?
In my circle of friends I have published authors, illustrators, security system manufacturers, alcohol reps, strip club owners, helicopter pilots, weapons training instructors, stationery manufacturers, airline employees and many more. Each of these people has power to some degree, some have the power to provide glory by association, while others have the power to provide products that seem to please.
In my time, I have also BEEN the friend in high places. When I worked for an entertainment magazine, it was my access to free products from reps and VIP tickets to concerts which made me a group favourite and later, when I worked for a publisher, it was my 40% discount and free books which did the trick.
In those situations it is really hard to know who is your friend because of you or because of what "added value" you bring to the group. I have always taken it on faith that those people who were good friends when I worked at a craft market, probably weren't after my money :-)
Having been the "friend in high places", I understand just how important it is that the people in my circle of friends are in no doubt that I love THEM and not their jobs. I'm supportive, understanding, interested, but I never take advantage of them, nor allow them to feel at an time that they are expected to provide a product or service.
So, if you are the friend in high places, take the time to get to know the people in your life carefully. When new friends come into your life, DO NOT fall into the trap of sharing your perks with them straight off. Wait and see if they are more interested in that or you. If you are joining a group like mine, be upfront and honest with yourself and everyone else about your motives for wanting to be included.
I'm very protective of my group - in fact, we're protective of each other - and nothing ticks us off faster than a false friend.
Anyway, I guess that today's message is to take a good look at your friends and ensure that you're all in it for the same reasons and to value the PEOPLE in your life above all else.
Until next time...
In my circle of friends I have published authors, illustrators, security system manufacturers, alcohol reps, strip club owners, helicopter pilots, weapons training instructors, stationery manufacturers, airline employees and many more. Each of these people has power to some degree, some have the power to provide glory by association, while others have the power to provide products that seem to please.
In my time, I have also BEEN the friend in high places. When I worked for an entertainment magazine, it was my access to free products from reps and VIP tickets to concerts which made me a group favourite and later, when I worked for a publisher, it was my 40% discount and free books which did the trick.
In those situations it is really hard to know who is your friend because of you or because of what "added value" you bring to the group. I have always taken it on faith that those people who were good friends when I worked at a craft market, probably weren't after my money :-)
Having been the "friend in high places", I understand just how important it is that the people in my circle of friends are in no doubt that I love THEM and not their jobs. I'm supportive, understanding, interested, but I never take advantage of them, nor allow them to feel at an time that they are expected to provide a product or service.
So, if you are the friend in high places, take the time to get to know the people in your life carefully. When new friends come into your life, DO NOT fall into the trap of sharing your perks with them straight off. Wait and see if they are more interested in that or you. If you are joining a group like mine, be upfront and honest with yourself and everyone else about your motives for wanting to be included.
I'm very protective of my group - in fact, we're protective of each other - and nothing ticks us off faster than a false friend.
Anyway, I guess that today's message is to take a good look at your friends and ensure that you're all in it for the same reasons and to value the PEOPLE in your life above all else.
Until next time...
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