Wash, Rinse, Repeat if required...

Ok, so at first glance, this may seem like the simple instructions on the back of the shampoo bottle aaaaaaaaand... you'd be right. BUT, they are also a fairly simple instruction for life and dealing with some of what it throws at you. How? Well... I'll tell you.

You see, so many times, life throws obstacles in our way. They're designed to trip us up or throw us off course, but it doesn't need to be that way at all. It is always possible to find away to either go around it or survive it! Don't believe me? Well... suffice it to say that I've had my fair share of rough "road tests", but I'm still here. So... what do I recommend? Well, it would be nice if there was a general purpose "band aid" solution to all the problems life could throw at you, but there simply isn't. There are however ways that you can prepare for the unexpected.

Ok... there are your general problems. These would be things like not getting that dream job, gaining a few extra kilograms, or your best friend making a move on the guy you like (but didn't tell her about). These things can hurt you, sometimes even lay you flat, but I promise it's not going to kill you. What you need to do is allow yourself a short period of time to mourn, be pissed off, get mad, whatever you need to do. Then, take a bit of time to recover and - here's the pertinent part - GET OVER IT!! If necessary, repeat step 1 (mad, sad, etc) and then ... stop. See... Wash, Rinse, Repeat (if required).

You're wondering if this will work with the bigger stuff? Well - sure. Don't believe me? Ok. So what would be the "big stuff"? Boyfriend cheated on you with his ex? Best friend moved in on your recent ex and married him? Boss is a total bitch who emotionally destroyed you until you quit your job? People you trusted have cut you out of their lives and treated you like dirt? Would that about cover it? You guess? Well, if you're not sure... Ok, so we're agreed that this would be the big stuff. Is it going to hurt you? Well, sure. Probably badly, but let me tell you a little secret. It definitely won't kill you. How can I be so sure? Well, some of these "big things" that I listed are things that I've been through personally and I won't lie. They hurt. Badly. But I'm still here and I'm actually stronger than before. No kidding.

You see... the best way to prepare yourself for the unexpected is to be sure of what YOU expect from people and life and yourself and also what YOU would like people to remember about you. Sound complicated? Not really. I always refer to it as behaving like an adult instead of like a petulant, spoilt child. And that isn't really always that easy. Basically, how you choose to deal with something will dictate how your brain processes it and how your emotions will handle it. I'm not kidding. Someone cheating on you does not require you to scream and shout and throw things. That is something we see in the movies and that doesn't make it right. Are any of those reactions going to change what happened? No. I'm not suggesting that you not be mad, just that you handle things in a rational, grown up way. Telling the person how you feel in clear, succinct manner will be just as effective and ultimately.... it kinda makes the other person feel worse. They know they've hurt you, but when you're almost nice about it, it's worse!

At the end of the day, you can walk away from any of these situations having expressed yourself as strongly as is needed without losing the core of your self-respect! How does it help you? Well, by NOT losing your cool and freaking out, you actually entitle yourself to be "ok". To get over it a bit quicker and easier and you don't raise your blood pressure through the roof. You still need to go through the stages... Be angry, be totally p'd off, be sad, be heartbroken or simply broken and that stage will take as long as it will take. But then you need to "rinse" and move on! Months down the line, not only do you respect yourself, but chances are that the people around you will respect you too and they may even learn from you.

If this seems a bit complicated... Then there's a song for you that you can adapt to fit what you need... "I'm going to wash that (insert here) right out of my hair" :-).

Until next time...