Into the Light...

Over the past few weeks Death and I seem to have crossed paths or passed in the corridor a fair bit. I've only had one personal visit... My Ouma, but it seems as if Death is all anyone is talking about lately. It's been really interesting to see how everyone handles it in their own way.

For some, there's been a definite sense of despair, hopelessness. I've seen people face death with a sense of fear and resentment. They fear the unknown which it represents. Fear the fact that it's beyond all sense of control. Their resentment is for the time they believe is stolen. I've seen others face death head on. Seen them calm and content, ready to view the unknown as yet another challenge on the journey. Seeing death, not as the end, but as a new beginning. I've seen them rejoice for the time they've been afforded on earth, rejoice for the chances they've had.

It's really made me think. Someone told me the other day that you're born and then you die. That's all. I thought it was a sad statement to make. I pointed out to them that there is a whole lot of really amazing stuff that happens between those two events... and after a bit of thought, they were able to agree with me.

The tragedy is not in dying. The tragedy is in never having lived at all.

I don't mean literally never having lived... I mean that the tragedy would be to isolate yourself from the experiences out there in the world out of some misguided idea that we're somehow going to stop ourselves from getting hurt. Being isolated doesn't protect you at all. I know this because I've tried it. You still end up getting hurt, but you don't get to have all the fun inbetween.

I was in a very dark place lately, what with one thing and another, and as I started to find my way out, I realised another very important lesson...

Without the darkness, it is impossible to truly appreciate the light

It's a hard concept to master. Most of us would feel that our lives are better without the darkness. I used to think so too... but now I know differently. If our lives run too smoothly, we won't appreciate what we have. And believe me... it's sooo very much better when you can really appreciate it.

Until next time...

Destiny's at the Wheel...

... or is she?

Every now and then we all seem to hit these little speed bumps where we derail for a while and - depending on the severity of the derailment - it can take us a while to get back on track. It usually starts as something small, the sand that starts to trickle down the hill. The sand kicks loose a pebble or two and as they head down the hill, they in turn dislodge a rock and before you know it, you've got full blown landslide.

The avalanche on it's own isn't the problem. The problem is if you're caught unawares and find yourself standing at the foot of the hill! Stupid right? Right!

Of course, the trick is to get to a point where you can recognise the trickle of sand as a "sign". If you can do that, then you can move in plenty of time to avoid being squashed. However, very few people ever reach a point where they can recognise the sand as a bad thing... in fact, if you get that good at spotting it, the chances are you've been buried more times than you care to remember!

Ok - so we've established that very few of us can spot the early signs of approaching danger. Some of us are however able to spot the pebbles and rocks. It's still really hard though to step out of the way even when you can see it coming... especially if it's moving at the speed of sound :-). I've realised that sometimes you end up like a deer in the headlights... you can see the trouble coming, but you just can't seem to get out of the way.

The trick though is to carry a shovel with you at all times. The minute you get buried... start to dig. Don't stop, don't give up, and MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL!!! Don't dig the wrong way! No matter how severe the avalanche of woes, troubles, sadness, anger, hatred, pain, etc seems, there is always a way out and the quicker you start to work at it, the quicker you will find yourself back in the sunlight.

Then, you take a deep breath of fresh air and move forward. Keeping an ear to the ground for any loose sand... of course!

With much love and happiness at having dug my way free!

Until next time...

Under a Dark Cloud...

... It's been a rather peculiar 10 days or so. At times I've felt a lot like a human emotional yo-yo. It's nothing totally unusual, but seems to have been very rough lately. It started with feeling very trapped in my life - don't worry, I can't explain it to myself either. Then, just when I was starting to see a light at the end of that tunnel, my Ouma died. It wasn't totally unexpected, but it was still really horrible. The funeral is tomorrow and I'm worried about my Dad. I know he'll cope, but it's still hard. I went straight back down that dark tunnel... I was also hurt by some people that I had least expected it from, but luckily I have some really great friends to help me out. The Older Brother kind of friends.

Anyway, it's not a great place to be in 'cos I can see the sun shining and I feel very much like one of those cartoons... standing under my own personal rain cloud. I'm hoping it will clear soon!

Until next time...