I'm sure we've all heard the saying "honesty is the best policy" sometime in our lives. Well - I really do believe that that is true. My Mom always used to tell us to be honest with her if we'd done something wrong and she promised us that as mad as she might get, it would be nothing to how mad she would be if she had to find out from someone else later. I tried it once. She wasn't kidding.
The trouble is that even if we try to live an honest life and try to treat those around us honestly and with a good heart, we cannot expect them to do the same. In fact, the chances are that most of the people around us are anything but truly honest. They're not honest with you, with other people and they're certainly not honest with themselves.
It's a funny thing, but dishonesty eats you alive. I'm not talking about the fib you made when you said you liked dinner the other night even though it was burnt or how you told your Great Aunt Gertrude that the butt ugly vase was just what you wanted. Sometimes, we have to do these things. I'm talking about the ugly, soul destroying lies that we tell to ourselves and to others. We think we've hidden them so well, but they change us in ways that are extremely visible to those around us.
Sometimes we lie inadvertantly, but unfortunately, there are times when the lies we tell are not inadvertant. They grow from a deliberate choice we make when we set out to achieve something through dishonest means. We don't really care who we hurt and we will tell any lie that we need to in order to achieve our goals. If you were to confront someone with the evidence of what they are doing, they would deny it vehemently and try to turn it all on you. They simply cannot see what they are doing because the most powerful lies we tell are to ourselves. These lies change us too.
For example: You and a colleague both want the same promotion. You've always been friends, but now you find that you're prepared to do anything for the achievement of the promotion. Or, perhaps you find yourself jealous of something one of your friends has - an object, car, house, girl/boyfriend, job, etc. The more jealous you are of that person, the more resentful you become and the more resentful you become, the more you will pick fights with them, accuse them of things that aren't true and treat them like crap. Worse still, the worse you treat them, the more you blame them for your behaviour. If you take it too far, you end up destroying the friendship. Your behaviour will reflect how ugly the dishonesty is making your soul.
Being honest with yourself is the hardest thing in the world. It requires you to look inside your heart and look past all the bullsh*t and smokes screens that you've built up for yourself and take a good long look at what you find. It could be that you need to do this to see how you really feel about a person or situation or that you simply need to re-evaluate aspects of your life. No matter what the reason, it is hard to do, and you may not like (or expect) what you find.
Here is the challenge... be honest with yourself. Identify areas of your life that can be improved and figure out how to do it. Take a look at your friends, colleagues, job, etc. Are there things you can do without? People that just stress you out? Are you doing things because you feel obligated to? Are you hurting people by what you do or don't do? All you have to do is be honest... ultimately, people will respect you for it.
It's hard. Believe me, it's VERY hard, but it's not impossible.
Until next time,
Me
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